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The Hidden Bliss Of Violence

I try my hardest/
To ride this comet/
Of nice involvement/
In this icy problem/
We call the world, won't lie and vomit/
Out my dignity/
Instilled in me/
By kindness all when/
The mice get ballsy/
And think they can fight the top when/
I'm doing my best/
To smoothly arrest/
All these useful enmeshed/
Feelings from a youth so misspent/
Truly I'm blessed/
But improving my stress/
Levels/
As a rebel/
Won't dilute the offense/
Did you choose me to test/
Only to move and elect/
To subdue all your threats/
When I abuse the incensed/
Anger/
I'm taming/
And leave you bruised and I'm cleansed/
Of your stupider flesh/
And unruly friends/
Like an Uzi I'm spent/
But I still have ammo/
Stacked now though/
That you damn assholes/
Won't pass out those/
Acquiescing/
Acts of blessing/
That last as memories/
Even when I'm at home/
This damn zone/
Of ignorance/
Is filling this/
Tolerance and innocence/
I've been arguing with instantly/
To bursting/
And I'm thirsty/
For hostile shit and pistol whips/
All of this was bigger then/
Our drama and a militant/
Dishonor with a little mix/
Of not wanting to be bigger than/
Our partnership with dissonance/
I'm killing this/
Part of it that instantly/
Barters with the hidden bliss/
Of violence/
It's dying as/
I'm walking in deliverance/
Cause honestly I'm sick of this/
I'm like a crack pipe/
On its last light/
That night/
Has become a brash cry/
To not match crimes/
With the bad guys/
And stand by/
As they douse life/
And pass time/
By going to slash lines/
Of support/
Only to come forth/
And smash ire/
I'm mad, tired/
And have my words/
To say as I lash slightly/
And brand pyres/
With cash I burned/
I became a vampire/
To bathe in nocturnal/
Freedom not enslaved by hot burning/
Claims of not working/
All day to stop curtains/
From falling on me, away with botched vermin/
I hate and caught lurking/
On stage with false purpose/
I've remained distraught yearning/
And I'm amazed my plots working/
I may just stop swerving/
And make my watch merge with/
This new pathway/
I had to take/
To outlast pain/
And drag stained/
Perceptions through a drab waste/
Of outcast clay/
That I laugh and play/
With only to announce faith/
I'm done with the conflict/
And running from nonsense/
Cause something is wrong with/
Me if I brush with this concept/
Of blood any longer/
I may lust for the slaughter/
But clumsy I falter/
I wonder if all the/
Blunders and falls were/
Something my Father/
Endured as he punched the alarm for/
Endless mornings/
Deaf to warnings/
Of exhaustion while clutching the throttle/
He'd tell me stories/
And metaphors he/
Picked up from a long work/
Day, through life, now I'm lovely in God's word/
Stumbling onward/
Towards the love of my Mom's warmth/



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I cant sleep/
Because these damn bleat-/
Ing fat sheep/
Harass me/
With thoughts of home everlasting/
They ask me/
If I'm doubting/
Whether I'll be happi-/
Er back there or out be-/
Ing the bad dream/
I've been to half the peop-/
Le I've known, just last week/
I slapped, beat/
Down three/
Annoying ass teens/
For laughing/
As I watched a movie slammed, beat/
After a savage week/
At work, I found these/
Hands swing-/
Ing grabbing/
Necks to gash and ring/
While attacking/
Panicking/
I stand, shriek/
And pass weak/
Guards, they cant catch me/
Tragedy/
Befalls actually/
Facts and brief/
Glass meet-/
Ings with a pastor week-/
Ly leaves me/
Seeking/
A deity/
To help free me/
But they keep me/
In this cage weeping/
Scheming/
To beat these/
Screws/
Loose/
Unleashing/
Rage when they leash me/
Up like a dog, deep things/
Run through my head underneath these/
Veins running varicose/
My demons seem/
To always be very close/
Air and smoke/
Are an errant joke/
The mirror p…

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Reservoir





I wake up, and then reach/
Across my bedsheets/
My arm feels heavy/
As it crashes empty/
My head thinks/
Something's wrong, I'm upset, blink-/
Ing back distressing/
Feelings pulling me to the end, sleep/
Then leaves/
And I'm wrestling/
With another morning without the best thing/
In my life, best friend, re-/
Newal of soul, with trembling/
Lonely lips/
I blow a kiss/
To the ghost that lives/
In my heart, set free/
From all but our happy ending/
Floating swift/
On a moaning wind/
Made of tears and clothed in missed/
Days in paradise, cozy, vict-/
Orian and pouring mixed/
Drinks as boats and ships/
Rode the drift-/
Ing currents, a potent sim-/
Ilarity to us/
It was rare of me to fuss/
Over one girl, I went from carrying the brunt/
Of the world on my shoulders, a pair of evil stumps/
To cherishing the love/
You gave me, the clarity and trust/
Was barely even a/
Concept, a fairy tale with dust/
That choked the air I breathed and sucked/
In, you were my therapist and…