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Drowns In Whiskey











Drowns In Whiskey





In my corner sequestered/
Immortal but blessed with/
A curse, important to weather/
These storms and conventions/
Immoral discretion/
Grants me torrential destined/
Warmer suspsension/
From the life I implored all the next kin/
To give me, born to be entered/
Into a cordial dismembered/
Order to extra/
Forms of regret and/
Informal relentless/
Morgues for the sentiment/
I tortured myself with/
I poured all my extra/
Consideration/
Into some inner hatred/
But this is blatant/
And I'm tripping waving/
Hands up, triggers splayed and/
Bigger changes/
On the horizon, distant aching/
And different ages/
Listen, play this/
Backwards/
And have your/
Brittle ancient/
Answers/
Lashed for/
A simple payment/
It simmers waiting/
As my liver painfully/
Drowns in whiskey/
Ouch you hit me/
It scratches with these/
Bastard ripping/
Claws, at least a thousand inches/
Long, one for every actual victory/
I've had to lift these/
Glasses up to in the past remission/
Of this cancer gripping/
Me, thrashing whipping/
Trashing wishes/
That I grabbed to switch me/
Out when tipsy/
Clad in glistening/
Plate armor/
That clanks all the/
Time with fake ardor/
Fate's calling/
Me and I'm straight balling/
As I wait bawling/
Behind the same walls that/
I built to take nonsense/
Away, drop it/
With a forsaken promise/
And unclaimed drama/
Plate tectonics/
Shift and shake concrete/
Foundations with rage, partnered/
With angst, problems/
And great conflict/
But what makes fallen/
Parts of me break constant/
Is that I'm ashamed often/
Because the taste following/
Anger dropping/
Gives me amazed calmness/
So stay, crawl in/
To my embrace/
Cause I can change/
Violate/
The minor page/
In that contract/
With contact/
Stalled back/
Cause by the way/
Life can race/
You and ripen faith/
As you write and pray/
Try and drape/
This mild graze/
Over the chair as night replaced/
The brighter day/
Isolate/
Your eyes and gaze/
Inside the grey/
Frightening haze/
That stifles stray/
Thoughts with lightning, rain/
And dire pain/
Cry but save/
Your tears for the child made/
To hide and wait/
For you to be kind and take/
Him back into your lovely blaze/
You might escape/
Sooner/
If you choose to/
Be wild, frayed/
At the edges/
In remembrance/
Of the aisles tamed/
And eyefulls slain/

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The first time it happened was around the end of 1999. My Mom and my Aunt were busy prepping everything for the holidays, and my older cousin begged to babysit me. Looking back, though there was nothing that indicated what he would do to me, I now find it odd that he showed so much extra attention towards me. In the days prior, when all of the kids played whatever trivial games we dreamed up, he would go out of his way to ruin my fun. I remember one instance where we were playing Heads Up 7-Up or something similar, and though my head was down, he stopped the game and said that I was peeking at the other players, something banned by the rules. "No I didnt!", I protested. "Yeah you did, I seen you!", he'd reply mockingly. My two front teeth stuck out prominently due to a mix of bad genetics and awkward dental work, and I told one of my other cousins, in jest, that I'd gladly trade my teeth for hers. We laughed, until I heard him behind us.…

Death Row

Death Row




I cant sleep/
Because these damn bleat-/
Ing fat sheep/
Harass me/
With thoughts of home everlasting/
They ask me/
If I'm doubting/
Whether I'll be happi-/
Er back there or out be-/
Ing the bad dream/
I've been to half the peop-/
Le I've known, just last week/
I slapped, beat/
Down three/
Annoying ass teens/
For laughing/
As I watched a movie slammed, beat/
After a savage week/
At work, I found these/
Hands swing-/
Ing grabbing/
Necks to gash and ring/
While attacking/
Panicking/
I stand, shriek/
And pass weak/
Guards, they cant catch me/
Tragedy/
Befalls actually/
Facts and brief/
Glass meet-/
Ings with a pastor week-/
Ly leaves me/
Seeking/
A deity/
To help free me/
But they keep me/
In this cage weeping/
Scheming/
To beat these/
Screws/
Loose/
Unleashing/
Rage when they leash me/
Up like a dog, deep things/
Run through my head underneath these/
Veins running varicose/
My demons seem/
To always be very close/
Air and smoke/
Are an errant joke/
The mirror p…

Skin

Skin






After I was molested/
I'd come to know whether/
Or not I would be broke, festering/
Or if my sole pleasure/
Would be to not choke every/
Time he came around, I was so sheltered/
By the cold weather/
That love wouldn't clothe severed/
Limbs, amputated/
After patient/
Dancing, waiting/
For the foreboding entrance/
Of arose questions/
Like why'd you do it/
Were you alright through it/
Whyd you hide truth when/
I cried, rumin-/
Ating on the times, rooms and/
Denied clueless-/
Ness on these kinds of movements/
A child zoomed a-/
Way from quite ruthless-/
Ly, and to my students/
Studying these words, I'm the light proving/
You can/
Survive too if/
You dig deep and slice, booming/
Your voice, cause I've used it/
To strengthen myself, the tide's boosting/
Me up, and if you write to me/
I'm happy saying/
That I'm saving/
Others from suicide, through these/
Lines clueing/
You into divine music/
And to my detractors/
Reacting/
In deep packs of/
Steep madness…