Skip to main content

Just Not Today







Just Not Today



I hear that pitter patter/
Of rain softly kissing outward/
Lifting pallors/
Stained bitter, scowling/
By distant battles/
We'd never admit nor answer/
To, its not real, imagined/
If we simply act with/
Listened action/
Simmered passion/
And with a fraction/
Of the missiles attacking/
Us, an inner drowning/
Killer saddled/
Us with a drifting malice/
And brittle clashing/
Of fists and lashings/
Crystals fashioned/
From littered sadness/
And crippling madness/
Until we happened/
Upon rich nostalgia/
Cause in you I'm free finally/
These lively dreams/
I'd likely seen/
Before when I would sing idly/
Seem like a seed/
I planted to breathe ice and bleed/
Fiery/
Life indeed/
A deep trifle in/
My beaten psyche seems/
To scream violently/
Whenever I'm desiring/
A sleep cycle that/
Doesnt leave knives unleashed/
In my head, a reminder that/
These tyrants/
Only seek pyres/
To burn me on, clean triumphs/
Come as we're lost in space/
With each other/
Lock the gates/
And seek thunder/
And constant rain/
As we wonder/
If a martyr prays/
To rediscover/
The haunting pain/
That keeps coming/
When we walk away/
From serene slumber/
Deep under/
These covers/
Our sheets summon/
Heaven, and we've won this/
Spot as our hollow graves/
Remain empty, we taunt and play/
With Death, because our solemn base/
Is divine, but we still promise fate/
We'll pause charades/
To stop and stay/
Permanently, just not today/
Often change/
Can posture great/
And con you, make/
You believe that you're lost in shades/
Of awful grey/
But the dawn awakes/
An uncommon chain/
Of harbored strength/
As the heart regains/
Its beating/
Leading/
Us from our ponderous weights/
With a throbbing bass/
As the ardor shakes/
With an artful blaze/
So take my hand/
And maybe stand/
Beside me in this wasted land/
Tasteful trash/
Is still a pain to mask/
But today we laugh/
Because the angry batch/
Of angsty crap/
Is safely latched/
To our crazy pasts/
Baby that/
Was a shame we had/
To fake romance/
With a shady match/
But daily tasks/
Add up to mainstream facts/
And aiming at/
A target we vaguely tapped/
Before is angling fast/
With a cadence blast-/
Ed from the aimless backend/
Of cascading brass/
But I've saved some cash/
And maybe thats/
All we need to race the shad-/
Ows, I have no/
Shallow/
Bones left, I'm fading fast/
So climb on the back of this raging black/
Bike and let's chase the last/
Ray's of the sunset's light/
And come to find/
That rumbling right/
Through each others plights/
Gave us another life/
To waste or grab/
In the hazy ash/
Of existence, praying wrath/
Will spare us for one more evening in our Angels' grasp/

Popular posts from this blog

My Story Of Sexual Abuse

For J. Find peace.



The first time it happened was around the end of 1999. My Mom and my Aunt were busy prepping everything for the holidays, and my older cousin begged to babysit me. Looking back, though there was nothing that indicated what he would do to me, I now find it odd that he showed so much extra attention towards me. In the days prior, when all of the kids played whatever trivial games we dreamed up, he would go out of his way to ruin my fun. I remember one instance where we were playing Heads Up 7-Up or something similar, and though my head was down, he stopped the game and said that I was peeking at the other players, something banned by the rules. "No I didnt!", I protested. "Yeah you did, I seen you!", he'd reply mockingly. My two front teeth stuck out prominently due to a mix of bad genetics and awkward dental work, and I told one of my other cousins, in jest, that I'd gladly trade my teeth for hers. We laughed, until I heard him behind us.…

The Desert

The Desert



Dry air in a normally humid climate is not conducive to a strong immune system. The shock is sudden and violent on an unseen level, I'm sure.

I never thought I'd suffer from stifling congestion and repetitious fits of coughing while stationed in Hawaii, but I was proven wrong recently.

As I pen this, my throat, though healed and no longer reacting in an incendiary manner when forced to swallow, is as arid and barren as the Mojave.

My chest is harboring a veritable barricade of mucus, and each pill I pop, in hues of rose red, ocean blue and grass green, chip away at bricks of the stubborn, phlegmatic stowaways.

My nose is on the brink of suicide, and breathing in coats each gust of air with a Welcome Aboard package of sandpaper and gravel.

In short, I'm fucked.

Yesterday I spent half the evening limping around wincing, my side cramped by an invisible knife, present and piercing, jostling with each aching step.

Save for a few meandering sets and reps performed to…

Death Row

Death Row




I cant sleep/
Because these damn bleat-/
Ing fat sheep/
Harass me/
With thoughts of home everlasting/
They ask me/
If I'm doubting/
Whether I'll be happi-/
Er back there or out be-/
Ing the bad dream/
I've been to half the peop-/
Le I've known, just last week/
I slapped, beat/
Down three/
Annoying ass teens/
For laughing/
As I watched a movie slammed, beat/
After a savage week/
At work, I found these/
Hands swing-/
Ing grabbing/
Necks to gash and ring/
While attacking/
Panicking/
I stand, shriek/
And pass weak/
Guards, they cant catch me/
Tragedy/
Befalls actually/
Facts and brief/
Glass meet-/
Ings with a pastor week-/
Ly leaves me/
Seeking/
A deity/
To help free me/
But they keep me/
In this cage weeping/
Scheming/
To beat these/
Screws/
Loose/
Unleashing/
Rage when they leash me/
Up like a dog, deep things/
Run through my head underneath these/
Veins running varicose/
My demons seem/
To always be very close/
Air and smoke/
Are an errant joke/
The mirror p…