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Random








Random




This is completely random/
Because I need to fathom/
My needs that grab from/
Obscene distractions/
Could you even stand to/
See the havoc/
That beams and flashes/
In the meanest cracks in/
My vision, relief it crashes/
Over me as the cleanest flashes/
Of evil fascist/
Regimes and panicked/
People laugh at/
Me and rack the/
Gun deeper back and/
Release the magic/
Bullets that seem to have me/
Bleeding sadly/
Unleashed and rabid/
I'm seeking savage/
Leanings mouthing/
A demon's answers/
So please my magic/
Eager half just/
Start reaching out and/
Keep me grounded/
I'm clinging, static/
Unclean and maggots/
Writhing, indecent, scalped and/
Seething mad with/
Jesus handing/
Me the package/
To realize my ceaseless passion/
But this isn't profound/
With my nose down/
Sniffing all the low ground/
I chose how/
This would go round/
Merry and slowed, doubt/
Would throw out/
My own clout/
Those clouds/
Passing by overt now/
Are overcrow-/
Ding my throat, mouth/
And whole ounce/
Of hope, ouch/
I've spoke about/
How I've broke loud/
Barriers and choked slabs/
Of soul found/
In this loaned drought/
Doesn't offer a new zone or route/
But I'm still fucked/
I feel stuck/
With shit luck/
And an ill rumb-/
Le in my sick gut/
Ripped up/
And split from/
Inch to/
Foot, killed, drunk/
Drink spilt, front/
Down my shirt, a chilled one/
That slid, hunched/
Over and pinned, brushed/
My thin touch/
Of stunted patience/
I was debased and/
Thrust with haste in-/
To a world of muscle, training/
And public shaming/
Done with aiming/
For another place in/
Their clan of trust, embrace and/
Love and claiming/
Plus the main thing/
I've summoned lately/
Is being fucking lazy/
So I lift tons of weights with/
My hands under framing/
Me as I stand without struggle facing/
This world as its own trouble daily/
Plus I'm angry/
Undertaking/
This task from awakening/
To abducting angsty/
Parts of me that run away free/
To re-assimilate/
These existing fates/
With intrigue busting in the gates/
And keeping the ugly pacings/
From dumps and wasting/
Themselves, succumb to slavery/
Utter fables/
Undone cables/
Plunder's aching/
To become the brave thing/
In this, minus the plus of greatness/
That pulses nascent/
In the guts of ancients/


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My Story Of Sexual Abuse

For J. Find peace.



The first time it happened was around the end of 1999. My Mom and my Aunt were busy prepping everything for the holidays, and my older cousin begged to babysit me. Looking back, though there was nothing that indicated what he would do to me, I now find it odd that he showed so much extra attention towards me. In the days prior, when all of the kids played whatever trivial games we dreamed up, he would go out of his way to ruin my fun. I remember one instance where we were playing Heads Up 7-Up or something similar, and though my head was down, he stopped the game and said that I was peeking at the other players, something banned by the rules. "No I didnt!", I protested. "Yeah you did, I seen you!", he'd reply mockingly. My two front teeth stuck out prominently due to a mix of bad genetics and awkward dental work, and I told one of my other cousins, in jest, that I'd gladly trade my teeth for hers. We laughed, until I heard him behind us.…