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Thoughts

Ostracized/
I thought I might/
Have been the cause of my/
Problems when they all combined/
To halt my life/
Cause all the times/
I was eschewed becuase I dropped my minds/
Honesty/
You fought with me/
All the right/
People playing sodomite/
But not tonight/
I dotting my/
Fallen eyes/
And raising them back up towards the farthest light/
Clawing my/
Way back up on the corpses of those in bondage Ive/
Stomped the life/
Out of whether lyrically/
Or literally/
This hostility/
Fueling me/
Is doing nothing to simmer me/
Down, and the will in me/
Wont be kept down willingly/
So keep fearing me/
Cause one day Ill seriously/
Break down the ceiling these/
Peers Ive freed/
Built to contain me/
Cause strangely/
Im angry/
But I can still face these/
Demons and brave these/
Problems with thanks see/
Cause itll take these/
Idiots more than crazy/
To change me/
Youve made me/
Exactly what Ive become/
But these crumbs/
Of affection offered are the reason/
Why Ive beat the/
Bricks off of you all with relish/
No longer second/
Guessing/
Why Ive spent this/
Time sweltering/
Under the breadth of/
My own message/
But I guess that/
If I can let it/
Go and be a special/
Kind of reckless/
I can bend this/
World to will and upset this/
Tragedy like expected/

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The first time it happened was around the end of 1999. My Mom and my Aunt were busy prepping everything for the holidays, and my older cousin begged to babysit me. Looking back, though there was nothing that indicated what he would do to me, I now find it odd that he showed so much extra attention towards me. In the days prior, when all of the kids played whatever trivial games we dreamed up, he would go out of his way to ruin my fun. I remember one instance where we were playing Heads Up 7-Up or something similar, and though my head was down, he stopped the game and said that I was peeking at the other players, something banned by the rules. "No I didnt!", I protested. "Yeah you did, I seen you!", he'd reply mockingly. My two front teeth stuck out prominently due to a mix of bad genetics and awkward dental work, and I told one of my other cousins, in jest, that I'd gladly trade my teeth for hers. We laughed, until I heard him behind us.…

Death Row

Death Row




I cant sleep/
Because these damn bleat-/
Ing fat sheep/
Harass me/
With thoughts of home everlasting/
They ask me/
If I'm doubting/
Whether I'll be happi-/
Er back there or out be-/
Ing the bad dream/
I've been to half the peop-/
Le I've known, just last week/
I slapped, beat/
Down three/
Annoying ass teens/
For laughing/
As I watched a movie slammed, beat/
After a savage week/
At work, I found these/
Hands swing-/
Ing grabbing/
Necks to gash and ring/
While attacking/
Panicking/
I stand, shriek/
And pass weak/
Guards, they cant catch me/
Tragedy/
Befalls actually/
Facts and brief/
Glass meet-/
Ings with a pastor week-/
Ly leaves me/
Seeking/
A deity/
To help free me/
But they keep me/
In this cage weeping/
Scheming/
To beat these/
Screws/
Loose/
Unleashing/
Rage when they leash me/
Up like a dog, deep things/
Run through my head underneath these/
Veins running varicose/
My demons seem/
To always be very close/
Air and smoke/
Are an errant joke/
The mirror p…

Skin

Skin






After I was molested/
I'd come to know whether/
Or not I would be broke, festering/
Or if my sole pleasure/
Would be to not choke every/
Time he came around, I was so sheltered/
By the cold weather/
That love wouldn't clothe severed/
Limbs, amputated/
After patient/
Dancing, waiting/
For the foreboding entrance/
Of arose questions/
Like why'd you do it/
Were you alright through it/
Whyd you hide truth when/
I cried, rumin-/
Ating on the times, rooms and/
Denied clueless-/
Ness on these kinds of movements/
A child zoomed a-/
Way from quite ruthless-/
Ly, and to my students/
Studying these words, I'm the light proving/
You can/
Survive too if/
You dig deep and slice, booming/
Your voice, cause I've used it/
To strengthen myself, the tide's boosting/
Me up, and if you write to me/
I'm happy saying/
That I'm saving/
Others from suicide, through these/
Lines clueing/
You into divine music/
And to my detractors/
Reacting/
In deep packs of/
Steep madness…