Skip to main content

Darker Days








Darker Days



Nervous and eager/
Am I deserving of beatings/
For the hurt I've unleashed on/
The most perfect of creatures/
I'm certain I need to/
Forgive myself because this sermon is weakened/
I'm not an uncertain defeatist/
And I'm learning to swing at/
Impermanent leanings/
Churches and greetings/
Have worked but I'm needing/
Something to burn all the reasons/
That I can't curb with an evening/
Of working and dreaming/
The current relinquished/
Me but I'm back, swerving and weaving/
Cursing and screaming/
Returning to evil/
Ways, like bursting on scenes with/
A metal curvature gleaming/
Over my knuckles, lurking and drinking/
In shadows, surly and weeping/
I'm surely a demon/
Perched and I'm seeking/
New ways to degrade myself/
These pains I've felt/
Refuse to be hanged or shelved/
Days will melt/
Into their greater selves/
The anger pelts/
Me crazed and jailed/
In my own mind, I've repaid my debt/
But remain affect-/
Ed by this strange regret/
Maybe lets/
Talk and reclaim the stress/
That's taken over, and let chains relent/
Saved and blessed/
But on Earth I'm in pain and bent/
Over in agony, my restraints have left/
Me with depraved intent/
And I'm a slave that met/
With his payment meth-/
Od and he's dazed and spent/
No matter how many times I display repentance/
I'm questioned/
By my disdain and quest/
To erase my sense/
Of accolades content/
Maybe just/
What I need/
To fly free/
Finally/
Is to persuade the wrench/
To start fixing/
What's wrong with me/
This strong instance/
Of not guilty/
Won't stop whispering/
In my head, you're caught sinner/
That false glimmer/
Of hope will not hit the/
Wall splitting/
You from the fog lifting/
Off living/
You will remain locked wishing/
You could live posh, skipping/
Happy, God willing/
You must drop crippling/
Thoughts brimming/
With lost filthy/
Spots spinning/
In your head constantly/
Stop tripping/
And pardon these/
Ardently/
Common things/
You insist are harboring/
Darker dreams/
Don't keep carving schemes/
Where they don't exist, harden creeds/
And honor Angels/
In waters aching/
For uncharted wading/
Darker days and/
Forgotten changes/
Father take me/
Done stalking prey with/
Unwanted angles/
Parlor fables/
Tricked me into walking angry/
My throat's parched, untainted/
Eyes darting angsty/
Acting partnered strangely/
With startled bravery/
Cards are raining/
Down, frost is aiming/
Towards me/
Implore me/
To enjoy these/
Artful paintings/
And the harm that pain brings/
As I'm crawling bracing/
Myself for my sought escaping/
Cause my throttle's waving/
And the cost is anxious/
To finally be enacted/
In this fashion/
Dismantled/
As I jostle facing/
The karma pacing/
Back and forth/
To slam the door/
On this obnoxious hatred/
Of myself, as I walk away from/
It and topple blaming/

Popular posts from this blog

Crystal Lake

Crystal Lake I'm begging you to let me immolate/ This is straight/ From the heart because this inner pain/ Won't dissipate/ I'm lifting weights/ With every bitter day/ Because this hidden angst/ Fuck, it simply weighs/ Too much for me to mitigate/ What I'm feeling, to be alone, a risk to take/ I'm in a pickle late-/ Ly, as I sit and wait/ On a phone call from a certain little name/ That will never hit the stained/ Glass, so I rip and rage/ Against myself, against the strain/ Of this mistake/ And with that one, the ripples graze/ Across the surface of the crystal lake/ Of my mind, the crypt I lay/ In is of my own building, I fell in, tripped and splayed/ Out on the concrete/ All these/ Haunting/ Images come back to taunt me/ I'm wanting/ The past to arm me/ With calm things/ Palm me/ In your hand baby and stop me/ From washing/ Away these thoughts each/ Night with whiskey and oxy/ I'm falling/ Darkly/ Into the halls

My Return To The Field

How often must I remain here? I must have died unexpectedly, and my wandering spirit, aura thick with malevolence and anguish, refuses to acknowledge my own death. Indeed, I have become a ghost, cursed to haunt diners, coffeeshops, bars and beaches, pen brandished and book unsheathed. I've grown so distant from others that Im more statue than Man, yet where this separation once stung painfully, it now soothes reassuringly. Lumped in with a generation of "men" with testosterone levels lower than a woman's would be 30 years ago, and forced to make due with "women" that proudly proclaim themselves sluts and will actually attempt to fistfight men if they are ignored and eschewed, as they should be, my sentiment is clear. I want no part of this generation. It's filthy and degraded. You could say I'm living a daydream right now, a fantasy granted the breath of life by divine providence. How many shifts at work have I frittered away contemplating the per

Frostbite

I often feel apart from the world. I enjoy it, partake in it, and have connections within its borders, but I am not of it. Truth is that I can't relate to the vast majority of people. Like seeing a flop at a poker table, Ive just become intimately attuned with a variety of social situations and the nuances they require. Admittedly, and indeed surprisingly to some to whom I never waste my breath, I tend to be very commanding and articulate in conversation. I can converse on a variety of topics with nimble comfort, and set the focus of my attention at ease rather quickly. Im particularly adept at engaging strangers in conversation, breaking them from their reveries, then gleaning what I need from them. On a whole Im very Machiavellian, and I harbor no shame about this side of my nature. The world turned its back on me years ago, so I have no qualms about using its denizens for my own gain when they've proven themselves sufficiently immoral and ill-mannered. From the perspective