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Darker Days








Darker Days



Nervous and eager/
Am I deserving of beatings/
For the hurt I've unleashed on/
The most perfect of creatures/
I'm certain I need to/
Forgive myself because this sermon is weakened/
I'm not an uncertain defeatist/
And I'm learning to swing at/
Impermanent leanings/
Churches and greetings/
Have worked but I'm needing/
Something to burn all the reasons/
That I can't curb with an evening/
Of working and dreaming/
The current relinquished/
Me but I'm back, swerving and weaving/
Cursing and screaming/
Returning to evil/
Ways, like bursting on scenes with/
A metal curvature gleaming/
Over my knuckles, lurking and drinking/
In shadows, surly and weeping/
I'm surely a demon/
Perched and I'm seeking/
New ways to degrade myself/
These pains I've felt/
Refuse to be hanged or shelved/
Days will melt/
Into their greater selves/
The anger pelts/
Me crazed and jailed/
In my own mind, I've repaid my debt/
But remain affect-/
Ed by this strange regret/
Maybe lets/
Talk and reclaim the stress/
That's taken over, and let chains relent/
Saved and blessed/
But on Earth I'm in pain and bent/
Over in agony, my restraints have left/
Me with depraved intent/
And I'm a slave that met/
With his payment meth-/
Od and he's dazed and spent/
No matter how many times I display repentance/
I'm questioned/
By my disdain and quest/
To erase my sense/
Of accolades content/
Maybe just/
What I need/
To fly free/
Finally/
Is to persuade the wrench/
To start fixing/
What's wrong with me/
This strong instance/
Of not guilty/
Won't stop whispering/
In my head, you're caught sinner/
That false glimmer/
Of hope will not hit the/
Wall splitting/
You from the fog lifting/
Off living/
You will remain locked wishing/
You could live posh, skipping/
Happy, God willing/
You must drop crippling/
Thoughts brimming/
With lost filthy/
Spots spinning/
In your head constantly/
Stop tripping/
And pardon these/
Ardently/
Common things/
You insist are harboring/
Darker dreams/
Don't keep carving schemes/
Where they don't exist, harden creeds/
And honor Angels/
In waters aching/
For uncharted wading/
Darker days and/
Forgotten changes/
Father take me/
Done stalking prey with/
Unwanted angles/
Parlor fables/
Tricked me into walking angry/
My throat's parched, untainted/
Eyes darting angsty/
Acting partnered strangely/
With startled bravery/
Cards are raining/
Down, frost is aiming/
Towards me/
Implore me/
To enjoy these/
Artful paintings/
And the harm that pain brings/
As I'm crawling bracing/
Myself for my sought escaping/
Cause my throttle's waving/
And the cost is anxious/
To finally be enacted/
In this fashion/
Dismantled/
As I jostle facing/
The karma pacing/
Back and forth/
To slam the door/
On this obnoxious hatred/
Of myself, as I walk away from/
It and topple blaming/

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Countertop

Haunting this countertop/ Wondering how could all/ This go bad and walk/ Away from us, the patterns caught/ On repetition in my life, absent thought/ A coward's plot/ To brandish false/ Hope and manage slots/ Left over from the branch that rots/ Away, the old adage copped/ As an excuse, wrath of God/ Plant your balk-/ -ing seeds and stand and walk/ Because you are my spectre/ And I'm stressing/ Out over the time left in/ Our dying ending/ The price mentioned/ Was too much, so I write, wept in/ Quiet, bet this/ Life's questions/ Won't answer why settling/ Down defied convention/ My best friend/ You'll soon fly, stretching/ Our hearts like vested/ Lives destined/ To find remnants/ Of each other in every girl or guy messed with/ And getting over you/ Is akin to choking booze/ Down and moping through/ My days, hopeless, nude/ Vulnerable, emotions bruised/ Soaked in blue/ Feelings, morose and gloom/ My heart poured into/ Every poem proof-/   -read at a bar, alone, enthus