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Rosary




Rosary


The time has come for honesty/

I admit I suck at boxing these/

Fighters, they're lunging, robbing me/

Of a dream that kept me up and walking free/

When my life wasn't mine, I'd thrust and pocket these/

Experiences, my trust was not the thing/

Reciprocated but my love was stalking me/

All around the world, but the lottery/

Came and went and I was stuck with all the beat/

Tickets, so I burned them and the rush it halted weak-/

Minded busted fallen dreams/

I clutched my balls and screamed/

I'm not done, don't walk on me/

As the exposure seeped/

In my bones as sleep/

Came over me/

It became my rosary/

I was quoting reams/

Of poetry/

When on the lowest brink/

I chose to keep/

Fighting and swinging, yet closure seemed/

So far away, but I rode the steep/

Waves of my internal roving needs/

The crones and leech-/

  -es began to notice me/

So I'd throw a weak/

Punch and found a skull/

In my hand to hold/

Powerful/

Strength that wasn't there before, I was astounded, pulled/

Myself out of the land that tore/

Me apart, sought to ground my soul/

Into dust, I was a magnet for/

Substantial torm-/

  - ent, but in a magical/

  Way I slammed the door/

On that enslavement and began to hammer forth/

My voice no longer stammered or/

Stuttered, I'd found my force/

And reason to live/

The beatings to give/

Were gifted, gradually I needed a shift/

In perspective, I was eager to kiss/

A lost love but she was leaving and kicked/

Out unjustly, I was beleaguered and drift-/

  - ing, weeping and split/

  In two because evil exists/

Creepily it/

Made its way into my peace and insist-/

  - ed it belonged, but I served a cease and desist/

Letter, my writing keeps me up when/

The world is heavy and my back is creaking and shivved/

Because the knives there have become so deeply dismissed/

That I've forgotten that they were there like weeds in the midst/

Of a green lawn, jade and opulent/

I was hating all of this/

But I made a promise with/

Myself to behave and walk with Him/

So maybe condescend-/

  - ing shame's intolerant/

 Of the way I want to live/

Her faith's a monolith/

That I pray to often in/

Quiet moments when the shade is calling me/

But I see the Sun's rays and ponder them/

My life was meant to be this way, a constancy/

War, and the hate theyre mongering/

Is Hades stalking me/

So I stand and make my prophecy/

A play exalting me/

Wrap my hands and brave this ardent stream/

Of decay and bartering/

Punching my way through, cobbling/

A plan together while I drain the swamp in me/

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Haunting this countertop/ Wondering how could all/ This go bad and walk/ Away from us, the patterns caught/ On repetition in my life, absent thought/ A coward's plot/ To brandish false/ Hope and manage slots/ Left over from the branch that rots/ Away, the old adage copped/ As an excuse, wrath of God/ Plant your balk-/ -ing seeds and stand and walk/ Because you are my spectre/ And I'm stressing/ Out over the time left in/ Our dying ending/ The price mentioned/ Was too much, so I write, wept in/ Quiet, bet this/ Life's questions/ Won't answer why settling/ Down defied convention/ My best friend/ You'll soon fly, stretching/ Our hearts like vested/ Lives destined/ To find remnants/ Of each other in every girl or guy messed with/ And getting over you/ Is akin to choking booze/ Down and moping through/ My days, hopeless, nude/ Vulnerable, emotions bruised/ Soaked in blue/ Feelings, morose and gloom/ My heart poured into/ Every poem proof-/   -read at a bar, alone, enthus