Rosary
The time has come for honesty/
I admit I suck at boxing these/
Fighters, they're lunging, robbing me/
Of a dream that kept me up and walking free/
When my life wasn't mine, I'd thrust and pocket these/
Experiences, my trust was not the thing/
Reciprocated but my love was stalking me/
All around the world, but the lottery/
Came and went and I was stuck with all the beat/
Tickets, so I burned them and the rush it halted weak-/
Minded busted fallen dreams/
I clutched my balls and screamed/
I'm not done, don't walk on me/
As the exposure seeped/
In my bones as sleep/
Came over me/
It became my rosary/
I was quoting reams/
Of poetry/
When on the lowest brink/
I chose to keep/
Fighting and swinging, yet closure seemed/
So far away, but I rode the steep/
Waves of my internal roving needs/
The crones and leech-/
-es began to notice me/
So I'd throw a weak/
Punch and found a skull/
In my hand to hold/
Powerful/
Strength that wasn't there before, I was astounded, pulled/
Myself out of the land that tore/
Me apart, sought to ground my soul/
Into dust, I was a magnet for/
Substantial torm-/
- ent, but in a magical/
Way I slammed the door/
On that enslavement and began to hammer forth/
My voice no longer stammered or/
Stuttered, I'd found my force/
And reason to live/
The beatings to give/
Were gifted, gradually I needed a shift/
In perspective, I was eager to kiss/
A lost love but she was leaving and kicked/
Out unjustly, I was beleaguered and drift-/
- ing, weeping and split/
In two because evil exists/
Creepily it/
Made its way into my peace and insist-/
- ed it belonged, but I served a cease and desist/
Letter, my writing keeps me up when/
The world is heavy and my back is creaking and shivved/
Because the knives there have become so deeply dismissed/
That I've forgotten that they were there like weeds in the midst/
Of a green lawn, jade and opulent/
I was hating all of this/
But I made a promise with/
Myself to behave and walk with Him/
So maybe condescend-/
- ing shame's intolerant/
Of the way I want to live/
Her faith's a monolith/
That I pray to often in/
Quiet moments when the shade is calling me/
But I see the Sun's rays and ponder them/
My life was meant to be this way, a constancy/
War, and the hate theyre mongering/
Is Hades stalking me/
So I stand and make my prophecy/
A play exalting me/
Wrap my hands and brave this ardent stream/
Of decay and bartering/
Punching my way through, cobbling/
A plan together while I drain the swamp in me/