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Vivid

Missing you/Is facing a mission through/Misconstrued/Simple truths/And acknowledging these vicious two/Solipsistic views/I'm a missle zoom-/Ing right back into your hidden rooms/And you're the billiard cue/Knocking me/Out, pocketing/Me, getting me to stop the deep/Hate and walk with me/As I'm reintroduced/To life in all its vivid hues/I want to live with you/And exist as proof/Of the point these little clues/God left wasnt a minuscule/Attempt at a sinner's coup/You and I werent an interlude/But the main act, the distance moved/Us apart, but we're not finished, soon/Life will take these prison blues/And you'll be flickering through/The night sky, a film that drew/My attention, I'll sit and rum-/Inate over these blisters strewn/All over my feet from sprinting through/And over the bricks you threw/At me just so I could get a kiss from you/

Recent posts

Distant Reveries vs. Disappointing Realities

Deified Reveries vs. Distant Realities





I dreamed of you again.

It was an odd, fantastical dream, but it was emotionally potent all the same. 
It began with you and I in Old Town Sacramento. 
We held hands and beamed whenever our eyes met and our gazes intertwined, which, believe me, was often enough to be more than occasionally. 
We nearly skipped through the graffiti laced tunnel that intertwines Sacramento with it's Old West counterpart, propelled by clouds all the while. 








Next, and bear with me here, I was immortal, in the vain of Blake Lively in Age Of Adaline. 
You and I shared a weathered house marinated in history, and, inexplicably, 8 people lived with us. 
Perhaps it was a boarding, or halfway, house. 
I awoke in the middle of the night, aware that I was being tracked by the government for my hidden imperishability. 
So, clad in boots, Levi's, and a black shirt, I began to silently skulk and surreptitiously sneak through the cacophony of toys, books, and assorted det…

Crystal Lake

Crystal Lake






I'm begging you to let me immolate/
This is straight/
From the heart because this inner pain/
Won't dissipate/
I'm lifting weights/
With every bitter day/
Because this hidden angst/
Fuck, it simply weighs/
Too much for me to mitigate/
What I'm feeling, to be alone, a risk to take/
I'm in a pickle late-/
Ly, as I sit and wait/
On a phone call from a certain little name/
That will never hit the stained/
Glass, so I rip and rage/
Against myself, against the strain/
Of this mistake/
And with that one, the ripples graze/
Across the surface of the crystal lake/
Of my mind, the crypt I lay/
In is of my own building, I fell in, tripped and splayed/
Out on the concrete/
All these/
Haunting/
Images come back to taunt me/
I'm wanting/
The past to arm me/
With calm things/
Palm me/
In your hand baby and stop me/
From washing/
Away these thoughts each/
Night with whiskey and oxy/
I'm falling/
Darkly/
Into the halls these/
Demons are walking/
Through, stalk…

Done

Done








8 years ago today I spent the night at the Doubletree Hotel in Sacramento, CA, en route to RTC Great Lakes. I left behind a lucrative career at Wal-Mart unloading trucks, my pursuit of a degree in literally nothing at Solano Community College, and a girlfriend that would later hate me for not dressing like one of the little bitches so common in K-Pop videos (srs). Throughout my tenure in the Navy I fought, did Handstand Pushups, and had my personal space violated repeatedly by deranged, insane men and women that would become the best friends I'd ever known. In the Persian Gulf, I went to throw up in a toilet that was already backed up and filled to the brim with shit, causing me to spew forth twice the expected amount of vomit. I became known as Bitch Hands, a name I still answer to from San Diego, Califronia to Manama, Bahrain. I passed out drunk in public parks, on the shores of forgotten beaches, and the manicured lawns of the estranged friends of acquaintances I barely k…

Drunken Diary

Drunken Diary






I remember reading about Dave Draper, the great bodybuilder from the fabled Muscle Beach era.

After retiring from active competition in his mid-twenties, he settled in California, far from his native New Jersey.

Considering that it's on the East Coast, I fully support his decision, since I've never known anyone who wasn't from there to relocate to the area permanently.

He took to indulging his second passion. woodworking, with the same fervor he once employed to build his magnificent physique.

It led to a profitable career that afforded him a prosperous life.

He also, ignominiously enough, became an alcoholic.

Getting through his days with a bottle of wine ever present by his side, he'd work at his adopted hobby turned vocation.

Weed was also a constant companion.

Still, he never gave up his training, which is what I admire about him chiefly, rivaled only by his command of English and the written word.

He'd report to his garage daily, completing a pr…

Devilish Angel

Devilish Angel





Every night I dream/
Of buying drinks/
In Waikiki/
You sitting right with me/
On a barstool, sliding free-/
Ly into Long Island teas/
And extra iced tequi-/
La, rocks, lightly gleam-/
Ing, our plight, it seems/
So far off, because the bridal winks/
And unrivaled slings/
Of your arm in mine make me the unrivaled King/
Of our entire shrink-/
Ing world, time, it seems/
Would pry and wheeze/
To try and slink/
Through our 2 person pride and sting/
But it was denied, its weak-/
Ness thrown away, to ride and be/
Banished on the tides and sleek/
Hawaiian breeze/
The Piper sings/
And we know that either leads/
To the title or deed/
To a house, private springs/
Of rejuvenating isles, each/
Morning, I'll write the scene/
With my own vibrant ink/
Pour my heart out to unite our links/
Those previously lonely walks/
I was the ghost that haunt-/
Ed the strip, closing off/
Any opportunity with encroaching walls/
Around my soul and heart/
I'd grown to call/
My hole a spot/
It w…

He Is Risen

He Is Risen





I came to You as a cocky teenager/
With appalling deep sancti-/
Fied wrong beliefs making/
Me not think safer/
I was lost, beat, angry/
At all these beasts anchor-/
Ing me safely/
In defeat, hatred/
And unclean angles/
Caught, He leaned, raised me/
From harsh deceit claiming/
To be steady as rocks, these feet aching/
In the desert parched, I received grace He/
Indeed saved me/
I ceased breaking/
The laws He deemed greater/
Then my heart's bleating nature/
Christ's arms weakly shaking/
As he hung strong, breathing wavering/
On the cross, preaching bravely/
Before God, pleading blatant/
"Father they know not", these themes changed me/
From a rotting link chaining/
Myself to thoughts that keep me slaving/
For wrong reasons, praise Je-/
Sus for the promise He made me/
And the evil I'm delivered from/
This is one/
Of those times I'm crippled from/
The fissures rupt-/
Uring in my fickle stom-/
Ach, You picked me up/
Made me your unfinished son/
No long…