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A Letter For My Older Brother

Im following the breadcrumbs/
That you set up/
For me to follow instead of/
The path more trodden, who knows where Ill end up/
I guess the/
Only way to find out is to fetch some/
Walking shoes/
And walk with you/
Through the breath of/
Uncertainty, and when I feel left out/
Or let down/
With the course my life is taking/
I remember you saying/
That things are spread out/
To test out/
New opportunities and delve down/
Deep into a fresh wound/
And stretch out/
Cause growth is found in pain/
And this change/
Is good for me, so live great/
And dont go insane/
Trying to control it/
Cause the more that/
You storm in/
Angrily the more moments/
You give up and forfeit/
The torment/
You feel is normal/
But never let the pain border/
On unendurable or torture/
Endure the/
Worst of it but give back/
And with that/
Youd sit brash/
And lay down a sick track/
In that/
Moment I knew you were my brother/
But tragically some of/
These events have thrown us both asunder/
The love that/
Never left me is bundled/
Strong and deep under a sky thats crumbled/
So come home/
I miss you so damn much that it undoes/
The defenses Ive set/
With each stroke of my pen/
Cause when I left/
I couldnt hold all this emotion within/
I was the first you told your secret to/
Believe me you/
Are still my older brother, and Im only complete with you/
I only compete with you/
Lyrically, you taught me this art form/
Complex technique, epic, the shit that Id stop for/
Stalk your/
Shoulder to read your rhyme book, unlock your/
Genius/
And breathe in/
Some of it, its your respect that I fought for/
And I know weve drifted apart/
Living so far/
Away, but I have to tell you my eyes are dripping and dark/
Cause brother, life, this shit is hard/
Im gripping the start/
You gave me in this, praying you read this/
Making believe its/
The key that will make you come back and say that you need us/
Maybe youll see this/
And know that Im not displaying this weakly/
Because its not that, its just that your absence is breaking the pieces/
Of my heart still shakily beating/
Im braced for the creeping/
Realization that youve moved on and Im tasting the grieving/
But if not, know that Ill hastily retreat and/
Brazenly beat these/
Demons back, because through it all youve retained my allegiance/

I love you...

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I cant sleep/
Because these damn bleat-/
Ing fat sheep/
Harass me/
With thoughts of home everlasting/
They ask me/
If I'm doubting/
Whether I'll be happi-/
Er back there or out be-/
Ing the bad dream/
I've been to half the peop-/
Le I've known, just last week/
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Down three/
Annoying ass teens/
For laughing/
As I watched a movie slammed, beat/
After a savage week/
At work, I found these/
Hands swing-/
Ing grabbing/
Necks to gash and ring/
While attacking/
Panicking/
I stand, shriek/
And pass weak/
Guards, they cant catch me/
Tragedy/
Befalls actually/
Facts and brief/
Glass meet-/
Ings with a pastor week-/
Ly leaves me/
Seeking/
A deity/
To help free me/
But they keep me/
In this cage weeping/
Scheming/
To beat these/
Screws/
Loose/
Unleashing/
Rage when they leash me/
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To always be very close/
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