Skip to main content

A Letter For My Older Brother

Im following the breadcrumbs/
That you set up/
For me to follow instead of/
The path more trodden, who knows where Ill end up/
I guess the/
Only way to find out is to fetch some/
Walking shoes/
And walk with you/
Through the breath of/
Uncertainty, and when I feel left out/
Or let down/
With the course my life is taking/
I remember you saying/
That things are spread out/
To test out/
New opportunities and delve down/
Deep into a fresh wound/
And stretch out/
Cause growth is found in pain/
And this change/
Is good for me, so live great/
And dont go insane/
Trying to control it/
Cause the more that/
You storm in/
Angrily the more moments/
You give up and forfeit/
The torment/
You feel is normal/
But never let the pain border/
On unendurable or torture/
Endure the/
Worst of it but give back/
And with that/
Youd sit brash/
And lay down a sick track/
In that/
Moment I knew you were my brother/
But tragically some of/
These events have thrown us both asunder/
The love that/
Never left me is bundled/
Strong and deep under a sky thats crumbled/
So come home/
I miss you so damn much that it undoes/
The defenses Ive set/
With each stroke of my pen/
Cause when I left/
I couldnt hold all this emotion within/
I was the first you told your secret to/
Believe me you/
Are still my older brother, and Im only complete with you/
I only compete with you/
Lyrically, you taught me this art form/
Complex technique, epic, the shit that Id stop for/
Stalk your/
Shoulder to read your rhyme book, unlock your/
Genius/
And breathe in/
Some of it, its your respect that I fought for/
And I know weve drifted apart/
Living so far/
Away, but I have to tell you my eyes are dripping and dark/
Cause brother, life, this shit is hard/
Im gripping the start/
You gave me in this, praying you read this/
Making believe its/
The key that will make you come back and say that you need us/
Maybe youll see this/
And know that Im not displaying this weakly/
Because its not that, its just that your absence is breaking the pieces/
Of my heart still shakily beating/
Im braced for the creeping/
Realization that youve moved on and Im tasting the grieving/
But if not, know that Ill hastily retreat and/
Brazenly beat these/
Demons back, because through it all youve retained my allegiance/

I love you...

Popular posts from this blog

Rosary

Rosary The time has come for honesty/ I admit I suck at boxing these/ Fighters, they're lunging, robbing me/ Of a dream that kept me up and walking free/ When my life wasn't mine, I'd thrust and pocket these/ Experiences, my trust was not the thing/ Reciprocated but my love was stalking me/ All around the world, but the lottery/ Came and went and I was stuck with all the beat/ Tickets, so I burned them and the rush it halted weak-/ Minded busted fallen dreams/ I clutched my balls and screamed/ I'm not done, don't walk on me/ As the exposure seeped/ In my bones as sleep/ Came over me/ It became my rosary/ I was quoting reams/ Of poetry/ When on the lowest brink/ I chose to keep/ Fighting and swinging, yet closure seemed/ So far away, but I rode the steep/ Waves of my internal roving needs/ The crones and leech-/   -es began to notice me/ So I'd throw a weak/ Punch and found a skull/ In my hand to hold/ Powerful/ Strength that wasn't there before, I was astoun

A Drunkard's Lament

              Alcohol/ Is a battle fought/ With madness wrought/ From the sadness caught/ Between a man that calms/ His hands and thoughts/ With poison that wraps its claws/ Around his watch/ Makes time pass and stop/ Whenever he slams a shot/ I have forgot-/ -ten the chasms walked/ Barefoot and half distraught/ When I've drowned in bot-/ -tles of the brownest rot-/ -gut liquor, that the damned can flaunt/ Prancing, dropped/ By the rancid vom-/ -it that crams and falls/ From the mouth of all/ The manic lost/ Ones that choose to pad their traum-/ -as with Jack and vod-/ -ka, Schnapps and all-/ -the traps of karma/ Let's get plastered, crawl the/ Line, disasters wobbling/ Pants are starting/ To tear, we're panting, heart is/ Racing, death a tragic pardon/ From the crimes of a master wrong one/ The fortune amassed is startling/ Fan your pockets/ For the change that's always last for varmints/ Alas, unvarnished/ Regrets are magic, popping/ Up wherever you're lashed and

Curtailed Dreams: Fuck The Coronavirus

Curtailed Dreams: Fuck The Coronavirus When I was in the Navy, particularly my last 2 years, all I dreamed about was boxing when I got out. At sea in 2014, out on a workup, in the process of getting ready to deploy, I was on the night shift.  When on the water, you endure what's termed Port and Starboard Watch, which is essentially a novelty nautical name for twin 12 hour shifts. One ran from 0800-2000, while the other, obviously, went from 2000-0800.  Since I'm nocturnal by nature, I quickly volunteered for the latter, and got it. I remember it had amused me because I'd done everything in my power to get San Diego, CA as my first duty station, only to end up exiled to Norfolk, VA, yet I'd secured my spot on the night shift in such short order.  When my happiness was involved, I was ignored, but when my labor was needed, I was prioritized.  It was around 3 in the morning and I had just finished my workout. Obviously I dont remember the exact contents of it, but I'm