Skip to main content

A Letter For My Older Brother

Im following the breadcrumbs/
That you set up/
For me to follow instead of/
The path more trodden, who knows where Ill end up/
I guess the/
Only way to find out is to fetch some/
Walking shoes/
And walk with you/
Through the breath of/
Uncertainty, and when I feel left out/
Or let down/
With the course my life is taking/
I remember you saying/
That things are spread out/
To test out/
New opportunities and delve down/
Deep into a fresh wound/
And stretch out/
Cause growth is found in pain/
And this change/
Is good for me, so live great/
And dont go insane/
Trying to control it/
Cause the more that/
You storm in/
Angrily the more moments/
You give up and forfeit/
The torment/
You feel is normal/
But never let the pain border/
On unendurable or torture/
Endure the/
Worst of it but give back/
And with that/
Youd sit brash/
And lay down a sick track/
In that/
Moment I knew you were my brother/
But tragically some of/
These events have thrown us both asunder/
The love that/
Never left me is bundled/
Strong and deep under a sky thats crumbled/
So come home/
I miss you so damn much that it undoes/
The defenses Ive set/
With each stroke of my pen/
Cause when I left/
I couldnt hold all this emotion within/
I was the first you told your secret to/
Believe me you/
Are still my older brother, and Im only complete with you/
I only compete with you/
Lyrically, you taught me this art form/
Complex technique, epic, the shit that Id stop for/
Stalk your/
Shoulder to read your rhyme book, unlock your/
Genius/
And breathe in/
Some of it, its your respect that I fought for/
And I know weve drifted apart/
Living so far/
Away, but I have to tell you my eyes are dripping and dark/
Cause brother, life, this shit is hard/
Im gripping the start/
You gave me in this, praying you read this/
Making believe its/
The key that will make you come back and say that you need us/
Maybe youll see this/
And know that Im not displaying this weakly/
Because its not that, its just that your absence is breaking the pieces/
Of my heart still shakily beating/
Im braced for the creeping/
Realization that youve moved on and Im tasting the grieving/
But if not, know that Ill hastily retreat and/
Brazenly beat these/
Demons back, because through it all youve retained my allegiance/

I love you...

Popular posts from this blog

A Drunkard's Lament

              Alcohol/ Is a battle fought/ With madness wrought/ From the sadness caught/ Between a man that calms/ His hands and thoughts/ With poison that wraps its claws/ Around his watch/ Makes time pass and stop/ Whenever he slams a shot/ I have forgot-/ -ten the chasms walked/ Barefoot and half distraught/ When I've drowned in bot-/ -tles of the brownest rot-/ -gut liquor, that the damned can flaunt/ Prancing, dropped/ By the rancid vom-/ -it that crams and falls/ From the mouth of all/ The manic lost/ Ones that choose to pad their traum-/ -as with Jack and vod-/ -ka, Schnapps and all-/ -the traps of karma/ Let's get plastered, crawl the/ Line, disasters wobbling/ Pants are starting/ To tear, we're panting, heart is/ Racing, death a tragic pardon/ From the crimes of a master wrong one/ The fortune amassed is startling/ Fan your pockets/ For the change that's always last for varmints/ Alas, unvarnished/ Regrets are magic, popping/ Up wherever you're lashed and

Across The Seas

 I like watching you sleep/ She said, as I jostled and kneed/ My way on the mattress, stopping to think/ If you watch me, when do you actually fall into deep/ Rest yourself, it must be awful to be/ Kept up by my snoring, talking to me/ Not realizing that I've gone off the brink/ Of wakefulness and darkness until I'm startled and swing/ My arms up and cause you to spring/ Onto my chest laughing, harder than we've/ Ever done before, but you settle in and softly you sing/ I don't mind, because I love to listen to your heart as it beats/ The tears begin to pool and I cough and release/ Them in the present, because what once caused me to think/ I'd found Heaven on Earth is now a harsh memory/ But I bear it still, because though it carves and it cleaves/ And I lay there trembling, starting to bleed/ I know then I was alive for that part of the scene/ My recollection is sharp as the green/ Blades of grass in the lawn of our dreams/ In front of the house where we'd deco

Outrunning The Reaper

Outrunning The Reaper The concept of aging intimidates me.  I wont say it scares me, because I feel that I've done the very best I can at retarding, delaying, and combatting it.  My training, which in the past prioritized hypertrophy and strength, misapplied in a hilariously misinformed fashion, has altered severely.  When I first got to Hawaii in 2017, I experimented with the idea of adopting EMOM (Every Minute On the Minute) training, a methodology I'd learned from studying Crossfit.  At that point I was doing 5 sets of Freestanding Handstand Pushups a day, with each set's repetitions decreasing incrimentally, following the Recon Ron Pullup Program.  It's available for free online, and a simple Google Image search will allow one to locate the entire workout.  I would sometimes do it twice a day, and before I stopped it, I was doing around 77 Handstand Pushups a session.  Back then I fancied myself a badass for completing such a "large" amount of volume in 1