Skip to main content

Remembrance

This corpse is bloated/
Ive known the growth that/
Ive taken on is more than Id hoped when/
Id left home, forlorn and torn with/
My heart in too many places/
Erase this/
Past and restore my home when/
I returned alive/
Just to find/
The past had died/
And Id/
Be scorned and so pissed/
A decision born in moments/
When I could barely form the focus/
To make a decision/
I dismissed it/
Her love was eaten in a swarm of locusts/
I swore Id hold it/
My heart before the war had froze it/
Ive poured this old shit/
Out of my soul/
Back in control/
But soulless/
And now Im so pissed/
My love Ive thrown it/
Out but closure/
Wont come cause this blowing/
Wind breeze/
Skinning me/
Literally/
Leers at me/
Fucker you chose this/
Im like a sophist/
Nothing exists but me so I know that/
If I keep moving/
And see the sewing/
Of something new then I can own it/

A drifting freak/
Listlessly/
Trying to fill the void you had to dig in me/
Despicably/
Youre ripping these/
Attempts up as I sit up weak/
Religiously/
I kill the dreams/
Like propoganda/
A stalking phantom/
Lost and dragging/
Me along unwillingly/
I snip the strings/
In my heart connecting to me to all your/
Critiques of what my faults were/
I walk forward/
And destroy your stalwart/
Lost form/
Cut loose off shore/
And as our vessel finally sinks/
I cry and blink/
Away the tears because Ill always think/
Of your time with me/
As blindingly/
Bright to me/
Im flying free/
Finally/
No longer trifling/
Over needless crimes that we/
Accused each other of frighteningly/
But if I can see/
The horizon then I can breathe/
Silently/
My air no longer labored/
By the encumbering anger/
Of our love, an infant strangled/
In its manger/
And later/
When the pain has/
Ebbed and abated/
Ill be waiting/
For the day that/
This hatred/
Will appear again so I can face it/

So youve come to visit me in my new life/
I knew Id/
Make this acquaintance again, please, come through my/
Improved sights/
So I can see how youve grown too/
I know you/
Wonder about me sometimes, cause both shown who/
We really our in our absence/
And the fact is/
What happened/
Wasnt as tragic/
As we thought it was when it captured/
You in renewal/
And me in the loop of/
Depression/
Apprehension/
Regression/
Then acceptance/
Im refrshed and/
Weve proven/
That the youth that/
We dedicated to each other was useful/
The truth is/
Part of me will always long for our Suisun/
The Gino that you knew/
Is so far removed from/
The angsty kid/
You saved with crisp/
Love in the swoop of/
Your purity/
I furiously/
Had to pursue you/
We moved through/
Those stages with grace as I seduced you/
But you do/
Things that Im still not used to/
Your wind blew through/
My heart and right in you moved/
And who knew/
If the path Id choose threw/
You into hysterics/
But youd grin and bear it/
Even if its tearing/
Right through you/
Just like that I was gone too soon/

But if I have perfect hindsight/
Then I might/
Recite my/
Lessons learned/
I bled and worked/
Hard for these, so fuck you if you find my/
Revelations harsh/
The change I brought/
To myself defines my/
Personality/
The worst is out of me/
So be happy we/
Both missed out on a wild ride/
Because in the solitude/
I fought the truth/
For so long that it stopped and drew/
Its gun and said no more talking shrew/
Hit me and poured knowledge through/
My mottled bruised/
Pride and walked me through/
How strong I am/
Ive slaughtered stress/
At uncharted depths/
While under constant view/
The coddled mess/
I was was dropped and kept/
Me on the deck/
So I could dodge the nonsense noose/
Cause when you carry the/
Barriers/
Out at sea on a carrier/
You get wearier/
When the ships rocking, its scarier/
Then anything youve seen, but not if you/
Go out in the middle of the night and ask why isnt the water blue/
As suicide/
Runs through your mind/
And you remind/
Yourself that youre the pilot groomed/
For survival/
You thrive on/
The nights song/
And rely on you/
Solely/
You only/
Record these/
Thoughts if theyre positive, cause you alone are defining you/
So fuck negativity/
Theres a will in me/
That fears no tyranny/
Emotional or near to me/
Because its not real to me/
Ill conquer/
As long as/
I never falter/
In my resolve and prosper/
I havent forgot her/
So I thank you/
For making me face you/
Face truth/
Head on and reclaim youth/
It takes two/
To break doom/
Down, Ive see the worst in me/
And adversity/
I crave it/
I tame it/
So search for me/

Popular posts from this blog

Pledge And Honor

Pledge And Honor Pledge and honor/ The depths I've longed for/ Forever calmer/ Than relentless ardor/ I'm dead and wrong for/ The last time, perplexed and caught up/ In senseless constructs/ That rend and harm the/ Heaven on Earth/ I've bled and fought for/ I'll sever all the/ Ties to majesty/ Cause lies are trapping me/ I might've slandered these/ People, but try imagining/ The slice of ravishing/ Paradise I'm handling/ As the strife and pandering/ To vile tampering/ Legions wont be lined up granting me/ Vital amnesty/ I'm tired, answer me/ Why the savage seas/ Stay reliant on trapping me/ Miles and cramped beliefs/ Are a style I'm banishing/ Because if they like attacking me/ Theyd better find a patch of free/ Land, froze stiff and very/ Ready for an obituary/ Slow crisp and airy/ Notice this is wary/ As I close in and bury/ Your motions for clearing/ Broken despairing/ As the oceans ensnaring/

Crystal Lake

Crystal Lake I'm begging you to let me immolate/ This is straight/ From the heart because this inner pain/ Won't dissipate/ I'm lifting weights/ With every bitter day/ Because this hidden angst/ Fuck, it simply weighs/ Too much for me to mitigate/ What I'm feeling, to be alone, a risk to take/ I'm in a pickle late-/ Ly, as I sit and wait/ On a phone call from a certain little name/ That will never hit the stained/ Glass, so I rip and rage/ Against myself, against the strain/ Of this mistake/ And with that one, the ripples graze/ Across the surface of the crystal lake/ Of my mind, the crypt I lay/ In is of my own building, I fell in, tripped and splayed/ Out on the concrete/ All these/ Haunting/ Images come back to taunt me/ I'm wanting/ The past to arm me/ With calm things/ Palm me/ In your hand baby and stop me/ From washing/ Away these thoughts each/ Night with whiskey and oxy/ I'm falling/ Darkly/ Into the halls

Frostbite

I often feel apart from the world. I enjoy it, partake in it, and have connections within its borders, but I am not of it. Truth is that I can't relate to the vast majority of people. Like seeing a flop at a poker table, Ive just become intimately attuned with a variety of social situations and the nuances they require. Admittedly, and indeed surprisingly to some to whom I never waste my breath, I tend to be very commanding and articulate in conversation. I can converse on a variety of topics with nimble comfort, and set the focus of my attention at ease rather quickly. Im particularly adept at engaging strangers in conversation, breaking them from their reveries, then gleaning what I need from them. On a whole Im very Machiavellian, and I harbor no shame about this side of my nature. The world turned its back on me years ago, so I have no qualms about using its denizens for my own gain when they've proven themselves sufficiently immoral and ill-mannered. From the perspective