Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from 2018

Creative Writer

Creative Writer


Inspiration/
Isn't native/
To me, though I'm quick to tame it/
Or at least limit savoring/
It when it visits aiming/
To kick me greatly/
In the middle lane of/
My forgetful brain to/
Quicken pacing/
For my writing, simple training/
Is a little racy/
And leaves me wishing greatly/
For a real replacement/
For this crippling anguish/
We deem the daily grind/
I'm staging my/
Coup and staying right/
Here with angry might/
And aiming like/
A scathing hyped/
Gunslinger aiming high/
When noon claims the sky/
Complacence dies/
And patience thrives/
As I take my life/
Back from lazy tithes/
To the deity of shameless dives/
Into basic lines/
Rank and file/
Claiming titles/
Leave you parading, climbing/
Ascending better than a creative writer/
We're safe and gliding/
Over these hated sirens/
Beckoning to repay our plying/
Labor each day with mindless/
Control, just be brave and sign this/
Contract, be a slave with blinders/
Produce, sing great, we'll pirate/
Y…

Darker Days

Darker Days



Nervous and eager/
Am I deserving of beatings/
For the hurt I've unleashed on/
The most perfect of creatures/
I'm certain I need to/
Forgive myself because this sermon is weakened/
I'm not an uncertain defeatist/
And I'm learning to swing at/
Impermanent leanings/
Churches and greetings/
Have worked but I'm needing/
Something to burn all the reasons/
That I can't curb with an evening/
Of working and dreaming/
The current relinquished/
Me but I'm back, swerving and weaving/
Cursing and screaming/
Returning to evil/
Ways, like bursting on scenes with/
A metal curvature gleaming/
Over my knuckles, lurking and drinking/
In shadows, surly and weeping/
I'm surely a demon/
Perched and I'm seeking/
New ways to degrade myself/
These pains I've felt/
Refuse to be hanged or shelved/
Days will melt/
Into their greater selves/
The anger pelts/
Me crazed and jailed/
In my own mind, I've repaid my debt/
But remain affect-/
Ed by this strange r…

Alone, Not Lonely

Alone, Not Lonely









I've never understood why people are so petrified of the idea of eating alone. We all have insecurities, and I am far from perfect, but I'm comfortable with myself and know that, save for a select group of friends and family, I naturally prefer the company of an engaging book, powerful podcast, or my own immersive thoughts to the forced companionship of another human being.

I can recall on command the awkward social dance that begins whenever I'm caught out in the wild, entranced by a novel, only to be casually approached by an acquaintance who feels that they are fulfilling their unwarranted social duties by sitting with me. Unwilling to be a dick the vast majority of the time, I begrudgingly accept, and am immediately and involuntarily wisked away into the collective cancer we all know too intimately. I speak of course of that dreaded ritual, small talk.

Please inform me as to why, rather than strolling relaxedly around Walde…

Treasured Myths

Treasured Myths



Anxiety/
Stays frightening/
I pray I can be/
The change brightening/
The world of some brave admiring/
Reader out there that strays silently/
To my blog, to claim rightfully/
That we share the same type of needs/
The array blinding me/
Is complex, pain minding me/
With every move I make/
And screw I tame/
When it's loose and break-/
Ing/
I'm making/
The same de-/
Mented mistakes we/
All do, don't play hide and seek/
With my insane mind and sneak/
In to lay behind my feet/
Because these chains bind and squeak/
And make bison seem/
Quiet by comparison/
Some arrogance/
Would compel me to love errants and/
Run errands with/
Trust buried in/
My crushed merriment/
I'm done parrying/
The punch staring me/
In my face, a crunched flaring up/
Case of bust tearing up/
Eyes is what mirrors the/
Lies I'm fucked wearing cause/
Im delusional/
Illusions fooled/
Me, these stupid rules/
You made me follow, clues were sewn/
Into the fabric/
Of these bastard/
Memories…

Mark Of Cain

Mark Of Cain


These aren't comparable/
All of it's bull-/
Shit I'm not in the school/
Of fish you offered to mull/
Over/
Because your closure/
Was stolen/
Because your own dishonesty fueled/
A hypocrisy cooled/
Over losses and cruel/
Introductions to a toxin that you'll/
March in with proof/
That lights the darkness in full/
Corners/
Of your mind that you molded/
Into a fortress/
To protect the object of youth/
That you callously/
Tried to grab from me/
While it was happening/
I thought nothing of abnormality/
How could these/
Bonds be shattered weak/
By a fragile freak/
That trampled me/
Powerfully/
Rescued by a rabid sea/
That brought out the man in me/
This bastard weeps/
On deaf ears/
Because I'm dead clear/
On what has to be/
Done, are you understanding me/
As I ravage these/
Secret plans I keep/
To slash the seams/
Of your miniature world like an assassin dreams/
But a pastor's creed/
Would save me as I bleed/
Walk in hand with me/
Through the past and se…

Element

Element



The fog is lifted/
But the shot is rico-/
Cheting around with an astonishing quickness/
Adonis lifts his/
Distraught opinion/
Of a lost inscription/
On a memory that I pause and sift in/
Just to be caught with simple/
Paranoia/
Staring for the/
Drama living/
In this preposterous prison/
I've created to haunt my vision/
Because I'm not a victim/
To anyone but myself, and when I want to slither/
Out of this obnoxious slippery/
Slope on my belly to avoid the toppling buildings/
I get a nauseous feeling/
And begin to fight a dauntless system/
As my cautious middle/
Ground quakes and I fall in swimming/
I caught a glimmer/
Of hope in a twinkling glance/
Singing rapt/
Songs that drink these past/
Few hours away, a clinking glass/
Leaves me sad/
But breathing blasts/
Of hot air that delete these acts/
Of contrition/
Against me with dumb fiction/
And I'm done listening/
To an obscene recant-/
Ing of what I thought were unceasing cracks/
In my mental screen and flash/
Deep…

Thoughts Like Cannonballs

Thoughts Like Cannonballs



A cannonball/
Had the gall/
To just have to fall/
In my room, distracting all/
My rampant thoughts/
Animos-/
Ity grabs my palm/
As laughter drops/
Away, telling me the past has dawned/
And the battles on/
The rapid knocks/
On the already active box/
Holding this spastic flock/
Of manic lost/
Brain cells together are the blasting cross/
Of a mastodon's/
Footfalls and a rattling glock/
That shoots stammering shots/
Inside of glass and blots/
Of ink, I passed them off/
As if they answered all/
My questions just so I could stand and block/
The adderall/
From slamming law/
And disorder/
On this hoarder/
Of shitstorms and/
Clipped formal/
Eccentricities/
Left to sit with me/
I miss normal/
The aftershock/
Is always blissful/
It's calm and simple/
When I'm not the missile/
Headed straight for an honest crippled/
Talk with issues/
That harm and misuse/
My fallen quiver/
To haunt and intrude/
On my pause from this loose/
Arduous booth/
Cause it's an o…

Fences

Fences


I note the absence/
In smoky pastures/
Throwing daggers/
At me while clothed in ashes/
From when I burned/
The sly words/
You were throwing at me/
When I was exposed and happy/
With fingers flowing, snapping/
Eyes turned/
Skyward/
Because Id learned/
That when life hurts/
Just joke and crack these/
Lonely saplings/
Of hope distracting/
Me from the total sadness/
I felt, broke and gasping/
For air while floating, grabbing/
For anything/
That was set to be/
The better things/
That I'd grown attached to/
Wind blows, attacks you/
Morose and stranded/
But there's a glimmer searching/
In winter's curving/
Blizzards certain/
To listen perfect/
To the inner workings/
Of your hidden burning/
If this was worthy/
Of your bigger serving/
Sizes of focus/
Then your eyes wouldve noticed/
That your time isn't chosen/
To be wasted with the little serpents/
Or simple vermin/
The distance furthers/
Between the fists in lurking/
Bodies and the mirrors twirling/
But the blisters bu…

Courtroom

The fist is fragile/
But it allows you/
To kick and trample/
These bitches faster/
Than if you had to/
Simply vaccuum/
All your anger with quick devalued/
Slips of sad truth/
You simply handed/
Your victor's answers/
To as they were skipping past you/
This mission has to/
Be crisp and handled/
With slick detachment/
And a sickening rabid/
Need for lifting rabbits/
From their hat's to be delicious samples/
For others who would think to quit and tackle/
You, insipid rascals/
Kill these assholes/
With flaming rhetoric/
Changing detriments/
That stayed impediments/
To your raging energy/
For too long into unbreaking sentences/
Taking enemies/
And fileting desolate/
Bitter minds/
With killer rhymes/
And splitting lines/
Of archaic sentiments/
With displays of penmanship/
That embrace your eminence/
My blade is endless in/
Countless best brazen seller's lists/
I forsake the settlements/
Of insanely festering/
Former aching bretheren/
And I crave the death of them/
Traitors, sen…

Lake Berryessa

I've missed another birthday party/
If only you'd heard me calling/
I'm working all these/
Hours for this burning body/
To hurt me constant/
With surly haunting/
Words that polished/
The serpent longing/
To devour me/
As I'm cowering/
Behind a worthless promise/
Serving calmly/
And swerving on these/
Deadly roads/
While heading home/
In a deathly zone/
To be curtly prompted/
With a whirring saw that/
You said would cure and varnish/
Your worldly nonsense/
I've endured the scarring/
As I travel down these/
Saddened black sleeves/
Of gravel laughing/
Like jackals at me/
A tragic sampling/
Of life as this half breed/
Of clans with crackling/
Blue eyes and slandered pasts we/
All hate suddenly/
Run up on these/
Ancestors with love to bring/
Don't run from me/
Fastly/
The other half/
Of me are grumbling mad/
Because of trustless glass/
Houses that are crumbling bad/
The dunces cap/
Is sliding, it's a clustered hat/
Trick kept under wraps/
But we're fucking …

Curious Contemplation

My emotions are tumultuous, a whirling tornado throwing me around chaotically with no certain direction. I am trapped in the eye of a storm that has been raging vehemently for the past year. Whom can I trust? When friendship becomes a creaking facade and disrespect laughs mockingly behind a thin veneer of humor and joviality, I am crestfallen and wandering.

Crippled by indecision and weakened by the constant hammering of my trust in my own instincts, I return intuitively to that old harbinger of my past isolation and sustenance; pure, unbridled rage. Fists clenched and compassion askew, the only thing that saves my would be targets is my sense of rationality. Compassion is a finite resource, not to be squandered on the undeserving.

When I first arrived, I was immediately thrust into an arena I was totally unprepared for. The world I had occupied for the past 3.5 years was one of combat and character, where disputes were settled with clashing bones and straining muscles in the privacy…

10 Partial Diamond HSPUs

https://youtu.be/k4XgcOYyL6E

Moshpit

Muscles aching/
I'm numb, replaying/
That rumble shaking/
With my stomach quaking/
Nothing takes me/
Back like running anxious/
To the understated/
Field of battle I love so greatly/
I must of made three/
Trips or more, these cluttered faces/
Are dumb and angry/
But dull and patient/
Enough to pummel angsty/
Teenagers suffocating/
In the center of a club for crazy/
Misfits who with unencumbered glazing/Eyes consider these troubled cages/
Of ruddy faces/
And clumsy straight edge/
Kids with pumping blazing/
Eyes rushing brazen/
Into a drunken maze/
Of destructive raging/
Trouble waning/
A lovers daydream/
My pulse is racing/
With that pumping bass it/
Undulates in/
My heart, I lunge to taste it/
It's like fucking wasted/
In a muddy basement/
As the tundra laden/
Landscape outside has icy puddles breaking/
Each time you step you plunge and savor/
The pungent flavor/
Of lust and anger/
Busting halos/
While cuddling angels/
Don't crush the payload/
Just trust as rainflows/
Dow…

The Hidden Bliss Of Violence

I try my hardest/
To ride this comet/
Of nice involvement/
In this icy problem/
We call the world, won't lie and vomit/
Out my dignity/
Instilled in me/
By kindness all when/
The mice get ballsy/
And think they can fight the top when/
I'm doing my best/
To smoothly arrest/
All these useful enmeshed/
Feelings from a youth so misspent/
Truly I'm blessed/
But improving my stress/
Levels/
As a rebel/
Won't dilute the offense/
Did you choose me to test/
Only to move and elect/
To subdue all your threats/
When I abuse the incensed/
Anger/
I'm taming/
And leave you bruised and I'm cleansed/
Of your stupider flesh/
And unruly friends/
Like an Uzi I'm spent/
But I still have ammo/
Stacked now though/
That you damn assholes/
Won't pass out those/
Acquiescing/
Acts of blessing/
That last as memories/
Even when I'm at home/
This damn zone/
Of ignorance/
Is filling this/
Tolerance and innocence/
I've been arguing with instantly/
To bursting/
And I'm thi…

Sacred Lies

Don't eclipse me/
I'm throwing iffy/
Broken victories/
Into an open chimney/
To be smoked indifferent/
Alone and drifting/
I hope you hear this/
Choking injury/
In a double dose with dearly/
Departed ghosts that still dream/
A note would thrill me/
But I know it'd kill me/
Mostly weary/
But I've grown in fury/
Loathed and gearing/
Up for battle/
Done with prattle/
And jumping at em/
With disgusting malice/
I'm running at this/
Rusty casket/
Trusting that it/
Won't crumble that quick/
Cause love is banished/
In the dusty attic/
Where my heart once thrust and challenged/
With every heartbeat/
Darkening/
And lunging faster/
A glum romance can/
Funnel ashes/
From nothing and just/
Punish brashness/
Punch the past in/
It's smirking face/
For hurting faith/
And drumming madly/
Asserting great/
But we're hurdling straight/
Into the burning wraith/
That dubbed me ousted/
Shun me now with/
Clumsy dour/
Faces, I'm invisible/
Like the pinnacle/
Of time in int…

New Beginnings

Here's to new beginnings/
Through the crimson/
Haze that soothed the trimmings/
Of a smoother living/
I'm moving swiftly/
Who could hit me/
Delusion grips these/
Stupid miscreants/
That choose to piss me/
Off with clueless slipping/
I won't lose my winnings/
No longer running in place/
Instead I hustle with grace/
Even if I stumble in faith/
For much of the day/
Nothing is safe when/
Trouble is sacred/
Punching the face is/
A loving display of/
Crumbling hatred/
My club is The Haven/
But I'm brushing the pavement/
With my love for the language/
That saved me from anguish/
Years ago when I sputtered and fainted/
When life punctured my safety/
Done with the aimless/
Nights in barstools/
Like the thought you/
Tried to harbor/
When time forgot you/
Your strife was all true/
But light dissolves fools/
That might alarm cruel/
Fate to spite a parched view/
I write to conquer/
My mic will arm you/
Try to start new/
And climb the scarred tomb/
Of your inner sanctum/
A sinner m…