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Lake Berryessa

I've missed another birthday party/
If only you'd heard me calling/
I'm working all these/
Hours for this burning body/
To hurt me constant/
With surly haunting/
Words that polished/
The serpent longing/
To devour me/
As I'm cowering/
Behind a worthless promise/
Serving calmly/
And swerving on these/
Deadly roads/
While heading home/
In a deathly zone/
To be curtly prompted/
With a whirring saw that/
You said would cure and varnish/
Your worldly nonsense/
I've endured the scarring/
As I travel down these/
Saddened black sleeves/
Of gravel laughing/
Like jackals at me/
A tragic sampling/
Of life as this half breed/
Of clans with crackling/
Blue eyes and slandered pasts we/
All hate suddenly/
Run up on these/
Ancestors with love to bring/
Don't run from me/
The other half/
Of me are grumbling mad/
Because of trustless glass/
Houses that are crumbling bad/
The dunces cap/
Is sliding, it's a clustered hat/
Trick kept under wraps/
But we're fucking amped/
And now something grabbed/
Us and were punching back/
A busted act/
A loving smack/
Of mustard gas/
And other snacks/
You said were healthy, a money trap/
The cunning sapped/
My energy before I could come to grasp/
This ushered wrath/
This club relaxed/
It's admission/
A damn symptom/
Of a bigger problem, it's that simple/
I had visions/
Of clandestine/
Ash spreading/
But that venting/
Has got me nowhere but drab prisms/
Don't allow flashed shimmers/
Within a damned prison/
So at last give me/
The canned lists of/
Sadness and/
Mad tricksters/
That adlib shit/
For the masses that/
Bend over for the masochists/
Cramming this/
Down our collective throats/
A blunt deadly oath/
To stunt endless growth/
From unrepentant loathed/
Senseless folks/
Who'd better hope/
That the menace showed/
Itself with a momentous pose/
When the unsettling close/
Truth came and set this rope/
Just let me go/
Back to staring vested/
Into Lake Berryessa/
Wary, trembling/
Because I'm scared to enter/
A world I barely questioned/
The air is tepid/
As I carry sets of/
Problems that marry guesses/
About this world to fear and lessons/
That ensnare me devas-/
Away with these/
Austere depressing/
Thoughts claiming me/
I'm unchaining these/
Aching feet/
As my ankles bleed/
And I clear the wreckage/


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