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Lake Berryessa





I've missed another birthday party/
If only you'd heard me calling/
I'm working all these/
Hours for this burning body/
To hurt me constant/
With surly haunting/
Words that polished/
The serpent longing/
To devour me/
As I'm cowering/
Behind a worthless promise/
Serving calmly/
And swerving on these/
Deadly roads/
While heading home/
In a deathly zone/
To be curtly prompted/
With a whirring saw that/
You said would cure and varnish/
Your worldly nonsense/
I've endured the scarring/
As I travel down these/
Saddened black sleeves/
Of gravel laughing/
Like jackals at me/
A tragic sampling/
Of life as this half breed/
Of clans with crackling/
Blue eyes and slandered pasts we/
All hate suddenly/
Run up on these/
Ancestors with love to bring/
Don't run from me/
Fastly/
The other half/
Of me are grumbling mad/
Because of trustless glass/
Houses that are crumbling bad/
The dunces cap/
Is sliding, it's a clustered hat/
Trick kept under wraps/
But we're fucking amped/
And now something grabbed/
Us and were punching back/
A busted act/
A loving smack/
Of mustard gas/
And other snacks/
You said were healthy, a money trap/
The cunning sapped/
My energy before I could come to grasp/
This ushered wrath/
This club relaxed/
It's admission/
A damn symptom/
Of a bigger problem, it's that simple/
I had visions/
Of clandestine/
Ash spreading/
But that venting/
Has got me nowhere but drab prisms/
Don't allow flashed shimmers/
Within a damned prison/
So at last give me/
The canned lists of/
Sadness and/
Mad tricksters/
That adlib shit/
For the masses that/
Passively/
Bend over for the masochists/
Cramming this/
Agony/
Down our collective throats/
A blunt deadly oath/
To stunt endless growth/
From unrepentant loathed/
Senseless folks/
Who'd better hope/
That the menace showed/
Itself with a momentous pose/
When the unsettling close/
Truth came and set this rope/
Just let me go/
Back to staring vested/
Into Lake Berryessa/
Wary, trembling/
Because I'm scared to enter/
A world I barely questioned/
The air is tepid/
As I carry sets of/
Problems that marry guesses/
About this world to fear and lessons/
That ensnare me devas-/
Tatingly/
Away with these/
Austere depressing/
Thoughts claiming me/
I'm unchaining these/
Aching feet/
As my ankles bleed/
And I clear the wreckage/

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I cant sleep/
Because these damn bleat-/
Ing fat sheep/
Harass me/
With thoughts of home everlasting/
They ask me/
If I'm doubting/
Whether I'll be happi-/
Er back there or out be-/
Ing the bad dream/
I've been to half the peop-/
Le I've known, just last week/
I slapped, beat/
Down three/
Annoying ass teens/
For laughing/
As I watched a movie slammed, beat/
After a savage week/
At work, I found these/
Hands swing-/
Ing grabbing/
Necks to gash and ring/
While attacking/
Panicking/
I stand, shriek/
And pass weak/
Guards, they cant catch me/
Tragedy/
Befalls actually/
Facts and brief/
Glass meet-/
Ings with a pastor week-/
Ly leaves me/
Seeking/
A deity/
To help free me/
But they keep me/
In this cage weeping/
Scheming/
To beat these/
Screws/
Loose/
Unleashing/
Rage when they leash me/
Up like a dog, deep things/
Run through my head underneath these/
Veins running varicose/
My demons seem/
To always be very close/
Air and smoke/
Are an errant joke/
The mirror p…

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Reservoir





I wake up, and then reach/
Across my bedsheets/
My arm feels heavy/
As it crashes empty/
My head thinks/
Something's wrong, I'm upset, blink-/
Ing back distressing/
Feelings pulling me to the end, sleep/
Then leaves/
And I'm wrestling/
With another morning without the best thing/
In my life, best friend, re-/
Newal of soul, with trembling/
Lonely lips/
I blow a kiss/
To the ghost that lives/
In my heart, set free/
From all but our happy ending/
Floating swift/
On a moaning wind/
Made of tears and clothed in missed/
Days in paradise, cozy, vict-/
Orian and pouring mixed/
Drinks as boats and ships/
Rode the drift-/
Ing currents, a potent sim-/
Ilarity to us/
It was rare of me to fuss/
Over one girl, I went from carrying the brunt/
Of the world on my shoulders, a pair of evil stumps/
To cherishing the love/
You gave me, the clarity and trust/
Was barely even a/
Concept, a fairy tale with dust/
That choked the air I breathed and sucked/
In, you were my therapist and…