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Lake Berryessa





I've missed another birthday party/
If only you'd heard me calling/
I'm working all these/
Hours for this burning body/
To hurt me constant/
With surly haunting/
Words that polished/
The serpent longing/
To devour me/
As I'm cowering/
Behind a worthless promise/
Serving calmly/
And swerving on these/
Deadly roads/
While heading home/
In a deathly zone/
To be curtly prompted/
With a whirring saw that/
You said would cure and varnish/
Your worldly nonsense/
I've endured the scarring/
As I travel down these/
Saddened black sleeves/
Of gravel laughing/
Like jackals at me/
A tragic sampling/
Of life as this half breed/
Of clans with crackling/
Blue eyes and slandered pasts we/
All hate suddenly/
Run up on these/
Ancestors with love to bring/
Don't run from me/
Fastly/
The other half/
Of me are grumbling mad/
Because of trustless glass/
Houses that are crumbling bad/
The dunces cap/
Is sliding, it's a clustered hat/
Trick kept under wraps/
But we're fucking amped/
And now something grabbed/
Us and were punching back/
A busted act/
A loving smack/
Of mustard gas/
And other snacks/
You said were healthy, a money trap/
The cunning sapped/
My energy before I could come to grasp/
This ushered wrath/
This club relaxed/
It's admission/
A damn symptom/
Of a bigger problem, it's that simple/
I had visions/
Of clandestine/
Ash spreading/
But that venting/
Has got me nowhere but drab prisms/
Don't allow flashed shimmers/
Within a damned prison/
So at last give me/
The canned lists of/
Sadness and/
Mad tricksters/
That adlib shit/
For the masses that/
Passively/
Bend over for the masochists/
Cramming this/
Agony/
Down our collective throats/
A blunt deadly oath/
To stunt endless growth/
From unrepentant loathed/
Senseless folks/
Who'd better hope/
That the menace showed/
Itself with a momentous pose/
When the unsettling close/
Truth came and set this rope/
Just let me go/
Back to staring vested/
Into Lake Berryessa/
Wary, trembling/
Because I'm scared to enter/
A world I barely questioned/
The air is tepid/
As I carry sets of/
Problems that marry guesses/
About this world to fear and lessons/
That ensnare me devas-/
Tatingly/
Away with these/
Austere depressing/
Thoughts claiming me/
I'm unchaining these/
Aching feet/
As my ankles bleed/
And I clear the wreckage/

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Countertop

Haunting this countertop/ Wondering how could all/ This go bad and walk/ Away from us, the patterns caught/ On repetition in my life, absent thought/ A coward's plot/ To brandish false/ Hope and manage slots/ Left over from the branch that rots/ Away, the old adage copped/ As an excuse, wrath of God/ Plant your balk-/ -ing seeds and stand and walk/ Because you are my spectre/ And I'm stressing/ Out over the time left in/ Our dying ending/ The price mentioned/ Was too much, so I write, wept in/ Quiet, bet this/ Life's questions/ Won't answer why settling/ Down defied convention/ My best friend/ You'll soon fly, stretching/ Our hearts like vested/ Lives destined/ To find remnants/ Of each other in every girl or guy messed with/ And getting over you/ Is akin to choking booze/ Down and moping through/ My days, hopeless, nude/ Vulnerable, emotions bruised/ Soaked in blue/ Feelings, morose and gloom/ My heart poured into/ Every poem proof-/   -read at a bar, alone, enthus