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Wistful









Wistful



When the dust has settled/
And my trust in self or/
Nothing better/
Has been disgruntled, left for/
Busted, dead or/
Plunged, dismembered/
A husk, a mention/
Of what the semblance/
Of this never/
Fucking ending/
Thing was when pressure/
Wasnt fester-/
Ing above it, weather/
Thundering every/
Time the ruffled feathers/
Of our beloved elders/
Was called to cull the brevi-/
Ty we're done with, better/
Things are coming for this humbled veteran/
But then I see her wondrous splendor/
The pulse of blessing/
With her, in all those afternoons/
With standing room/
On avenues/
In Waikiki, captured smooth/
In photos, relax and view/
The magic mov-/
Ing, through these/
Trampling zooms/
To catchy tunes/
Like Frances, Tu-/
Pac, Brantley, boom-/
Ing bass for my attractive muse/
And attitudes/
Enflamed like acne grew/
On a teenage face, two rascals lewd-/
Ly, laughing, cruising/
Down the blue/
Water with no aptitude/
Or  care for when they crash, deluge-/
S are a fruitless/
Nuisance/
When their uses/
Are hacked in two/
I'm on the permanent vacation/
I yearned for when fake placements/
Of my time wouldnt placate me/
As I worked and the day's wasted/
Worse I'd just made changes/
Perched with this rage claiming/
Me, worrying, stayed vacant/
Nearly 8 maven/
Years kept me insane, acres/
And miles of plains aching/
To be plowed by my words, arranged sacred/
Lakes, bays and/
Water ways waving/
As I stayed praying/
At the shoreline for a strange break in/
To try in vain, save me/
From these beige banks and/
Let me be brave, namely/
With pen and paper, weights and/
What I'm good at, not this wage slavery/
I'm stake claiming/
Through the heart of this vampire, shame, hatred/
And disdain, favoring/
Instead praise and blazing/
Ahead with my face shaking/
In the breeze, enclaves bracing/
For impact, I'm paid daily/
By my angst waning/
And the shade making/
For the dark, the final bane quaking/
So I'll just train, praying/
That the daybreaking/
Will stop these charades main mem-/
Bers of our brood remain playing/
But I still dream/
Of Ill things/
Drifting/
Off into the night like a quick scream/
Misty/
Eyed and giving/
My all with these/
Gifts He/
Wished me/
To have, I'm simply/
Wistful/

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I cant sleep/
Because these damn bleat-/
Ing fat sheep/
Harass me/
With thoughts of home everlasting/
They ask me/
If I'm doubting/
Whether I'll be happi-/
Er back there or out be-/
Ing the bad dream/
I've been to half the peop-/
Le I've known, just last week/
I slapped, beat/
Down three/
Annoying ass teens/
For laughing/
As I watched a movie slammed, beat/
After a savage week/
At work, I found these/
Hands swing-/
Ing grabbing/
Necks to gash and ring/
While attacking/
Panicking/
I stand, shriek/
And pass weak/
Guards, they cant catch me/
Tragedy/
Befalls actually/
Facts and brief/
Glass meet-/
Ings with a pastor week-/
Ly leaves me/
Seeking/
A deity/
To help free me/
But they keep me/
In this cage weeping/
Scheming/
To beat these/
Screws/
Loose/
Unleashing/
Rage when they leash me/
Up like a dog, deep things/
Run through my head underneath these/
Veins running varicose/
My demons seem/
To always be very close/
Air and smoke/
Are an errant joke/
The mirror p…

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Reservoir





I wake up, and then reach/
Across my bedsheets/
My arm feels heavy/
As it crashes empty/
My head thinks/
Something's wrong, I'm upset, blink-/
Ing back distressing/
Feelings pulling me to the end, sleep/
Then leaves/
And I'm wrestling/
With another morning without the best thing/
In my life, best friend, re-/
Newal of soul, with trembling/
Lonely lips/
I blow a kiss/
To the ghost that lives/
In my heart, set free/
From all but our happy ending/
Floating swift/
On a moaning wind/
Made of tears and clothed in missed/
Days in paradise, cozy, vict-/
Orian and pouring mixed/
Drinks as boats and ships/
Rode the drift-/
Ing currents, a potent sim-/
Ilarity to us/
It was rare of me to fuss/
Over one girl, I went from carrying the brunt/
Of the world on my shoulders, a pair of evil stumps/
To cherishing the love/
You gave me, the clarity and trust/
Was barely even a/
Concept, a fairy tale with dust/
That choked the air I breathed and sucked/
In, you were my therapist and…