Skip to main content

Drunken Diary










Drunken Diary






I remember reading about Dave Draper, the great bodybuilder from the fabled Muscle Beach era.

After retiring from active competition in his mid-twenties, he settled in California, far from his native New Jersey.

Considering that it's on the East Coast, I fully support his decision, since I've never known anyone who wasn't from there to relocate to the area permanently.

He took to indulging his second passion. woodworking, with the same fervor he once employed to build his magnificent physique.

It led to a profitable career that afforded him a prosperous life.

He also, ignominiously enough, became an alcoholic.

Getting through his days with a bottle of wine ever present by his side, he'd work at his adopted hobby turned vocation.

Weed was also a constant companion.

Still, he never gave up his training, which is what I admire about him chiefly, rivaled only by his command of English and the written word.

He'd report to his garage daily, completing a program that consisted of naught but two exercises: The Heavy Cheat Curl and the Push Press.

Here, exercise and fitness pundits will debate, elaborate and pontificate endlessly, missing the forest for the trees all the while.

Simplicity built the body of one of the greatest physique athletes the world has ever, and will ever, see.





The legend at 78. I dont give a fuck about anyone's excuses, especially my own.








In the end however, all of this is rambling, disjointed and directionless.

I was thinking about The Blond Bomber because, at this phase of my life, I relate to him on an intimate level.

As I pen this, I'm drunk myself.

My Dad showed me a bottle of Tito's Handmade Vodka a few weeks back.

His chest swelled with pride as he spoke about it, aged and refined as it, and he, is.

Tonight I took 3 shots of that, followed up with a double of Bailey's Pineapple Rum, in honor of my recalcitrant, speculative beloved.

The last afternoon we spent in Hawaii was christened with a mixture of rum and pineapple juice, swilled together on a street corner.

She pisses me the fuck off; it's her most endearing quality, but maybe I'm just a masochist.

When you read this, know that I love and miss you, and that I'll see your annoying little ass soon, baby.

My daily routine consists of 200 Handstand Pushups, all completed in under 30 minutes, some shadowboxing to keep my weapons sharp for a fight that never comes, and a "relaxing" session of bridging, both Yogi and Wrestler style.

Returning to the beginning of this entry, I took inspiration from Dave Draper as a young Sailor.

I'd read volumes dedicated to everything from his early life in New Jersey to his tenure as a great, immortal bodybuilder.

In one instance, after landing in a foreign country whose name escapes me momentarily, he realized that he'd gone 3 days without any kind of exercise.

Cardinal sin that it is, he immediately kicked up into a handstand and knocked out set after set of my favorite exercise.

Ever since I was released from Naval service, I've drifted.

The original plan was to travel up and down the coast; I'd always fancied the idea of driving the Pacific Coast Highway, referenced in a Justin Moore song the first time I'd heard of it.

I wanted to explore my home state until my funds ran out.

Then the fucking beer virus came and the world ended.

But, as I've been consistently saying and digressing for 8 years now, life goes on.

I'm currently in that sweet spot of inebriation where the liquor has multiplied, launching a full scale attack on both my faculties and reason.

In this state, my anxiety shuts its fucking mouth, the future is no longer so impatient and expectant, and my life is simple.

I'd live here forever if I could, but ultimately I cant, and never would.

The price is my health, both physical and mental, and that's too steep a payment to ever meet.

Tomorrow I'll wake up late, likely around noon.

I'll train, read, and write, living my life like I'm still adrift in the Gulf I never really returned from.

Good times.




My spirit guide.

Popular posts from this blog

Agony

 Agony/ Is pounding, scree-/ -ching on my door, hounding me/ So I grab a ream/ Of paper and begin to shout and free/ These words from my heart, it's challenging/ As the pain keeps hounding me/ And the tears jab and sting/ At my eyes, I'm battling/ Another war, how could he/ Die, I thought we'd have a sea-/   -son without a funeral, standing bleak-/   -ly around a coffin as the gleam-/   -ing bugle plays Taps and we/ Have to be/ Strong for the family/ Crowds will weep/ As shoulders slouch and heave/ With sadness leak-/   -ing from their eyes haphazardly/ It's maddening/ Another year has passed and we/ Keep burying our elders tragically/ I don't know if I can stay around for these/ Tragedies/ Much longer, so I gaze passionately/ Out to sea/ And begin planning each/ Step of my escape back to me/

A Drunkard's Lament

              Alcohol/ Is a battle fought/ With madness wrought/ From the sadness caught/ Between a man that calms/ His hands and thoughts/ With poison that wraps its claws/ Around his watch/ Makes time pass and stop/ Whenever he slams a shot/ I have forgot-/ -ten the chasms walked/ Barefoot and half distraught/ When I've drowned in bot-/ -tles of the brownest rot-/ -gut liquor, that the damned can flaunt/ Prancing, dropped/ By the rancid vom-/ -it that crams and falls/ From the mouth of all/ The manic lost/ Ones that choose to pad their traum-/ -as with Jack and vod-/ -ka, Schnapps and all-/ -the traps of karma/ Let's get plastered, crawl the/ Line, disasters wobbling/ Pants are starting/ To tear, we're panting, heart is/ Racing, death a tragic pardon/ From the crimes of a master wrong one/ The fortune amassed is startling/ Fan your pockets/ For the change that's always last for varmints/ Alas, unvarnished/ Regrets are magic, popping/ Up wherever you'...

Condos On Oahu

It's sad to see/ Condos on Oahu I can afford now and think/ Of how it'd be/ If you were still around with me/ We'd happily/ Start that family tree/ To be rooted magically/ In something other than tragedy/ Our house is sce-/ -nic, surrounded each/ Direction by the vast and deep/ Massive sea/ On your hand the ring/ Finger covered by a gold band with peaked/ Diamonds that wrap and gleam/ Attached to a beauty, my masterpiece/ With practiced ease/ I scoop you up/ In my arms and move with the/ Quickness of a fool in love/ Because the mood has struck/ And the truth is a/ Minute spent away from you could ruin the/ Rest of my life so I boost the dust/ In the house and sprint to you and lunge/ In before the delusion crumb-/ -les and I'm alone again, a recluse that brushed/ Against the life he wanted, then was entombed and thrust/ Back out into the world doomed to trust/ No one again, but from then on his relationships are a ruse, a crutch/ That leave him feeling used, disgust-/ -...