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We exist in a world where it seems every skill, talent or gift, no matter how esoteric or seemingly inapplicable, can, through the bittersweet, pyrrhic blessing of social media, be monetized, commodified and capitalized upon. I harbor no unrealistic goals, because realism has become hyperreal. I live a simple life, one that appears to have placed me at odds with the world's status quo. Good, fuck them. Take happiness where you can grasp and steal it, whether it's by drinking overpowering, ironically cheap beer with great friends, screaming obscenities at the top of your lungs for the shock value, or doing feats of strength on public benches. In my case, everything is words and handstands. The rest is irrelevant. Forever flawed. Forever rebellious.

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My Story Of Sexual Abuse

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The first time it happened was around the end of 1999. My Mom and my Aunt were busy prepping everything for the holidays, and my older cousin begged to babysit me. Looking back, though there was nothing that indicated what he would do to me, I now find it odd that he showed so much extra attention towards me. In the days prior, when all of the kids played whatever trivial games we dreamed up, he would go out of his way to ruin my fun. I remember one instance where we were playing Heads Up 7-Up or something similar, and though my head was down, he stopped the game and said that I was peeking at the other players, something banned by the rules. "No I didnt!", I protested. "Yeah you did, I seen you!", he'd reply mockingly. My two front teeth stuck out prominently due to a mix of bad genetics and awkward dental work, and I told one of my other cousins, in jest, that I'd gladly trade my teeth for hers. We laughed, until I heard him behind us.…

Death Row

Death Row




I cant sleep/
Because these damn bleat-/
Ing fat sheep/
Harass me/
With thoughts of home everlasting/
They ask me/
If I'm doubting/
Whether I'll be happi-/
Er back there or out be-/
Ing the bad dream/
I've been to half the peop-/
Le I've known, just last week/
I slapped, beat/
Down three/
Annoying ass teens/
For laughing/
As I watched a movie slammed, beat/
After a savage week/
At work, I found these/
Hands swing-/
Ing grabbing/
Necks to gash and ring/
While attacking/
Panicking/
I stand, shriek/
And pass weak/
Guards, they cant catch me/
Tragedy/
Befalls actually/
Facts and brief/
Glass meet-/
Ings with a pastor week-/
Ly leaves me/
Seeking/
A deity/
To help free me/
But they keep me/
In this cage weeping/
Scheming/
To beat these/
Screws/
Loose/
Unleashing/
Rage when they leash me/
Up like a dog, deep things/
Run through my head underneath these/
Veins running varicose/
My demons seem/
To always be very close/
Air and smoke/
Are an errant joke/
The mirror p…

Reservoir

Reservoir





I wake up, and then reach/
Across my bedsheets/
My arm feels heavy/
As it crashes empty/
My head thinks/
Something's wrong, I'm upset, blink-/
Ing back distressing/
Feelings pulling me to the end, sleep/
Then leaves/
And I'm wrestling/
With another morning without the best thing/
In my life, best friend, re-/
Newal of soul, with trembling/
Lonely lips/
I blow a kiss/
To the ghost that lives/
In my heart, set free/
From all but our happy ending/
Floating swift/
On a moaning wind/
Made of tears and clothed in missed/
Days in paradise, cozy, vict-/
Orian and pouring mixed/
Drinks as boats and ships/
Rode the drift-/
Ing currents, a potent sim-/
Ilarity to us/
It was rare of me to fuss/
Over one girl, I went from carrying the brunt/
Of the world on my shoulders, a pair of evil stumps/
To cherishing the love/
You gave me, the clarity and trust/
Was barely even a/
Concept, a fairy tale with dust/
That choked the air I breathed and sucked/
In, you were my therapist and…